THIS week we will conclude last week’s discourse, “How to keep a man in love with you.” There is a tribe in southern Nigeria where girls are trained to take care of a man. When a Nigerian woman hears that her man is dating a woman from there, she believes that he is as good as gone. The truth? For them, the art of keeping a man is a science and an art. Girls from there are schooled from an early age to take care of their looks, cook good food, keep the home well, take special care of a man; both in and out of bed, but more importantly is that they are taught to give their men any and everything they want. Which man in his right senses can resist such a woman? So how do you make a man love you so much that people will think you hold a magic wand of sorts? Read on:
- Let him know that you will do any and everything he asks. For some reason I can’t fathom men love to be in charge in their relationships. By this I mean that a man wants to call the shots (or at least feel that he does) how? A man wants to be with a woman who does what he wants, and when he feels that way he is likely to listen to the woman, and acquiesce to her demands. When his woman does not do what he wants, he believes that she does not respect him. Could that be the reason that many modern women find it hard to find and keep a man? Even if a man can stomach a female boss, he doesn’t want one in his house. I like the way a veteran musician described his late wife to me. He said, “She allowed me to be the Commander-in -Chief of our home, and never gave me any trouble.” And they had a long and happy marriage that lasted over five decades before she passed on.
- Grow with him. Marriage is meant to be a long term relationship, and like most things will change because all humans change and grow. So a wise woman will take the time to grow with her husband. Don’t be like the woman who married her husband when he was the struggling assistant manager of a hotel, but had the dream of owning the best, and most luxurious hotel chain in the world. He achieved his dream, unfortunately she was not comfortable with his success, and the marriage ended. If your spouse is ambitious, make the effort to grow with him. Go to school and equip yourself if need be, but don’t remain a school certificate holder when your hubby is amassing masses of degrees and certifications.
- Stand up when he comes into the room, or at least acknowledge his entrance. ‘Familiarity breeds contempt’ is an aphorism that holds true in most marriages. Never become so familiar with your man that you treat him casually, not to mention contempt. One of the biggest ways to make your man feel loved is to acknowledge his presence in a big way whenever he walks into a room, stand up or at least welcome him back with a big smile. A lady I know opens the gate as she sees her hubby off to work every morning, and rushes out with glee when he returns home. In spite of her weaknesses, he adores her, and some wonder what exactly she has given him (as Nigerians put it).
- Protect his interests, not bad mouthing him to friends and family. A good wife is protective of her man’s interests and reputation; she never bad mouths him or harps on his weaknesses in public. Why? A man’s ego is a delicate thing and more than anything else demands the adoration, or at least respect of his woman. Speaking good of him at all times makes him feel safe with you.
- Pray for him. No matter the faith you follow, praying for your man is a given, so why add it here? This is most likely because not all women realize that men need the prayers of their significant others. Facing challenges in your relationship or with your man? Pray for him. Connection to a higher power always works for the best especially when things are hazy, or tough, or he seems to be recalcitrant. You see no man wants to be seen to be controlled by his wife, so don’t try pushing him, try praying for him instead.
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