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‘How we survived the bomb blasts that rocked our neighbourhood in 2002’

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At its highbrow location on Isaac John Street, GRA, Ikeja, Lagos, Babessalam Home is not conspicuous because of its high walls. Until recently when the Lagos State Government insisted on a sign post, Babessalam Home operated quietly, offering charity without noise. Founded by the late oil mogul and philanthropist, Alhaji Wahab Iyanda Folawiyo, the home has impacted on the lives of many children, some of whom are today full fledged adults with families to cater for. And Babessalam Home is not just an orphanage but a dream home where orphans are offered luxury and some even attend schools abroad, paying fees that run into millions of naira per session. In this interview with PAUL UKPABIO, Babessalam’s Home Director, Imam Idris Hassan, says the dream of the founder was not to deny the children any comfort it can afford. 

WHAT is Babessalam Home all about?

It is one of the registered orphanages in Lagos State. Babessalam means door of peace. We take care of less privileged orphans.

How long have you been in operation?

The home was formally opened in December 1990. The population from time to time has been growing and fluctuating. But today, we can say that we have children who have passed through primary school to secondary school and then to the universities. Although at the university level they no longer stay at the home here, the home still finances their education. Some of them study outside Lagos while some study outside the country. We have those who have even finished their university education.

Do you have some who have finished school and got married?

Yes, we do have such record. Many of them have actually got married and now have their own children and families.

If you have attended their weddings, how do you feel at such events?

I feel like any other happy and proud parent.

Now that some of them are grown up, are they giving anything back to the place?

Yes, they do from where they are directly or indirectly. They have an alumni association now. They fund it themselves. They visit here from time to time.

How does it feel to work here?

It is a good feeling. My biological children come here regularly, and we all interact as one big family. In our own home here, the feeling among the children is the same feeling children outside here have with their parents and siblings elsewhere. Every other person is your brother and sister and the adults are your parents and family members. They wake up, attend to their usual morning duties, eat and leave for school. When they return, they attend to their homework. Their ages also determine what they do around here.

Is their social life restricted?

Honestly, this is like a normal home. The children here interact at school and here in their home. They are, for instance, one of the best in Karate in Lagos State. So, they go out to compete with other children on different platforms. Some have won medals in football and other competitions.

Do you choose the school they want to attend?

They choose for themselves. But for the younger ones, we chose. It all depends on the circumstances. We look at the interest of the child, because as parents, there are things we understand which a child may not.

Are they open to scholarships?

Yes, the window for that is always open. In a normal home, you need support here and there from other people, morally, financially and otherwise. But we do not have extraordinary situations. Sometimes like in every normal home, things go smoothly. At some other times, you are challenged. But we thank Allah for our situation.

We learnt that some of your children here school abroad.

Yes, they do. A child may receive scholarship to do so. At other times, the scholarship may not be total, which means we still have to support with feeding, accommodation and books. The scholarship could be for tuition. So if we have to assist, we do.

What has been your experience in more than two decades of running the orphanage?

Well, we have lots to be thankful for, especially the vision of the founder who was very supportive, the family and, more importantly, the children themselves who are the main yardstick for our own assessment. Many of them are not just taking care of themselves today but also taking care of families and building people. So many things you see around here that gives us cause to say Alhamdulilahi.

At what point did you join Babessallam?

That was in 1999.

What brought you here?

It was the desire to give my quota to the development of humanity. Like any right minded person, I felt the need to help the less privileged in our society, spiritually and materially. Religious wise, we have been enjoined to be supportive of the less privileged in the society, especially the orphans. The vision that caused the founder to set up Babessallam home was to give a home and good care to the orphans in our society; people who are left with no means of survival whatsoever.

And who was the founder?

The late Abdulwahab Iyanda Folawiyo.

And this place has been managed by his family members?

Well, it has got nothing to do with family members managing the place or people of his tribe managing the place. Just like the children here, it has nothing to do with tribe. It is more of humanitarian.

What are your expectations from the children?

Our expectations from them are the expectations that every father or guardian or family expects from their children. Our expectations for them is that they would be able to live a decent life.

Do you have limitations on expenses or acquisition of luxury items you expose them to?

There are no limitations. We provide for them whatever we can afford. We do not say because they are orphans they should not have something that they desire. We do not stop them from desiring what they want, nor do we hold them back from having what we can get for them. If we stop them from having a particular thing, it is for their own good. So, no matter how expensive what they desire is, if we see the necessity or need for them to have it, we get it for them.

If we see the need for any of them to attend a school of N2 million per session, we arrange it for the child. We do not say because the child is here or because the child is an orphan, we deny the child. We actually have some of them here who attend such schools. My biological children do not attend schools that are that expensive. They do not even attend schools whose fees are a quarter of that amount. But that does not make me to think that the children in this orphanage do not deserve such, nor does it make me think that they should not get the luxuries they wish.

If we have a child at the orphanage who needs to be sent to London for a surgery, we will not hold back and say because she is an orphan, we will not send her there. If what she needs is not available here, then we can go to any length to get it for her from somewhere else. So we do not have any limitation in what we provide for them. We can go to any length to ensure that the children in this orphanage have a better life. If we see a good opportunity for them, we allow them to have it.

Now that the founder of this orphanage is long gone, does the family still support the orphanage in any way?

Yes, they still do.

If you were married at the point you took this job, how did your wife react to it?

My wife has always been pleased with my job. She is actually very supportive. She has the same attitude and perception of life like I do. She is at home with what I am doing.

Your job seems to me like a 24-hour job because you could be called upon at any time of the day…

Yes, I know. But my wife understands that too. And that really doesn’t matter to her. As a matter of fact, it is a normal part of our normal everyday routine. She knows I love the work and she enjoys being supportive too. I know that with my job, I can be called at any time. There have actually been such cases whereby I would be called at odd hours. Actually, there are no restrictions to when I can be called. And I move at any time of the day. It is just like a father in a home. If you have to move at midnight to a hospital because your child is sick, you will move. You won’t even think twice about it.

How does that affect your social life?

It is normal. I still have a healthy social life. Again, like any father in a house, running the house does not affect a father’s social life. A father’s social life is actually tailored around the system in his home. Whatever socials his family’s system does not allow, he will not keep. So, I would say that my social life is normal in accordance with the time that I find available for me.

How long have you been in Lagos?

I have been in Lagos for the past 19 years and some months. But I am from Kogi State.

What can you say about Lagos?

Anywhere is good and anywhere is bad, depending on how you live your life. If you want to see the good side of a place, then live a good life. But if you live a carefree life, then it could be bad. But Lagos has been good to me. Lagos is a good place to live in when you truly understand the city.

What is your motivating force apart from religion?

It is the upbringing that I have that determined the kind of life pattern that I have today. If you are from a good family and you are determined to make an impact in the society, you will. I think what has also been paramount in my life is the upbringing that was passed down from our forefathers. That has been indeed impactful. Education goes a long way, but passion also helps. Taking care of the needs of others has its divine rewards. So a main factor also motivating me is that I see my work as a fulfilment of what the creator demands of me.

What is your greatest virtue?

That should be humility. My upbringing inspired me to be humble. I see and feel passion in what I do, and that is where I derive my happiness. Again, I relate my work to the will of Allah.

Where do you see this orphanage in the next 10 years?

It was someone who established this place. And many years after he has gone, the place is still vibrant, promising and building up people. So, I see it getting better and better. I am sure this place still has better days in future.

What are the present challenges?

We thank God that there are no extraordinary challenges. People come here and wonder how we cope. But then, over the years, we have been able to standardise our systems and get along. The major challenge we would have had is behavioural challenge. But we thank God that the children here are well behaved. So if you come here and see any child’s behaviour that you think is odd, you can at the same time be assured that it is also a behaviour that you can find among children outside of here.

The children here are normal children. As their parents here, we correct them when they go astray and commend them when they do well. In correcting children here, we look and accept them from the prospecting of being our biological children because with a perception like that, it helps us to relate well with them and correct them in love. We do not over-amplify their errors.

For instance, if a mother out there sees a strange pen in her daughter’s bag, she asks her daughter, ‘Why did you take somebody’s pen?’ And if the same mother sees her daughter’s pen in another child’s bag she will ask the child, ‘Why did you steal my daughter’s pen?’ Both are the same situation, but the words used and the interpretation are different. The woman used a different word for her daughter and a different word for the daughter’s friend. So we are cautious about the words we use for our children here.

The challenges that we face here are the same challenges that children who live with their biological parents face. For instance though it never happens here, but let’s say the children here wake up on a particular day and there is no food to eat, it would not be new in the world because even in homes where children have their biological parents, such do happen. But we thank God that it doesn’t happen here. And if there are no school fees, as parents, you try and solve the problem. If a child is sick, as a parent, you take him or her to the hospital.

Your work is that of service and you probably won’t be as wealthy as you would want to be considering the effort and time you put in here. How do you feel about that?

Wealth is good, but contentment is even better. Success, to me, is contentment. If you are contented with what you have, you are already wealthy. Even the richest man still asks for more. You hardly meet anyone today who says what they have is okay or enough. But there are basic things that one needs in life. When you have that, you are okay. Some may desire to have 50 houses, but how many will they live in? Yes, I am wealthy because I am contented.

How standard is your environment here at the orphanage?

It is very standard. I can say that in Lagos, the environment here is one of the most expensive. Close to us here is the official residence of the Speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly. They deserve this and many other good things that come to them. They are special children. If we can afford school fees of N2 million for some of them, it certainly means that the issue of daily food or feeding is not a problem. If you cannot feed somebody, then you cannot even give the person such a privileged school opportunity. So if you have a way of creating such educational opportunity for the person, it means you have a way of creating opportunity for the person to have decent food, because food comes first.

I can see that you have received awards in the last couple of years…

Yes, the awards come from organisations and schools where our children here excelled in various fields. We have award of commendation some years back from GRA Residents Association. There is an award that we have got consistently over the years from one of the children’s schools, and another one from an Islamic foundation. That was this year.

What qualifies a child to be accepted here?

The child must be an orphan and at the same time less privileged. That is because you cannot be looking for assistance for someone who does not need assistance.

Does it mean that it is only orphans who are less privileged and discovered by your orphanage that can be accepted here?

Not necessarily. We receive orphans even from government agencies. Individuals and organization may make the first move before we get involved.

There are people who abandon their babies and children. What advice do you have for such people or people who are in such desperate moments and are thinking of such?

What I can say is that they should pull themselves together. Whatever challenge they are going through cannot be forever. There are people who when they face a difficult situation, they just break down. That shouldn’t be. They need to pull themselves together, think properly and consult the right people before taking action, because in most cases, they will later come around to blame themselves and regret their desperate action.

For instance, during the Ikeja Cantonment bomb blast, many people lost their lives because they were confused and ran helter-skelter without knowing what was pursuing them. It is unfortunate that young people are not taking religious teachings seriously. In Islam, for instance, a lady is not supposed to get pregnant without being married. Even in Christianity too. So if we comply with this doctrine and religious standard, before a pregnancy comes, there will be a man in the picture who will be responsible for the pregnancy, and everyone would have already known the father of the expected baby. But the situation we have in our society these days is that, a lady is already delivered of a baby before we start asking her who the father of the baby is. And in most situations, the lady herself does not even know or is sure of who the father of the baby is. So, in such a situation, the lady is not prepared for the challenges of having and keeping a baby.

There is also societal neglect of children and wards by parents as they are growing. So there are issues and factors that lead to all these things, and we all have to come together to look into them and reduce them through religious ties, community responsibility and enlightenment. A mother should not give birth to a child and then go and dump the same child in a refuse bin or market place or any other place that is hazardous to the child.

So during the bomb blast, how did you handle the situation?

We were all here and none of us was hurt despite the fact that we are close to the cantonment. We however gathered ourselves together and moved out of our buildings to an open space. But those who were even further than here ran in confusion and fell into canals.

Have you had a case where a young mother dumped her child and you later picked it up only for her to surface after some years to demand for her child?

We haven’t had such a case. But sincerely speaking, there is nothing wrong in that. In such a situation, all we would do would be to think through what will be the best thing to do at that moment, in the best interest of the child, not the mother. Everybody has their focus. But for us, at that point, the child is the focus. As an orphanage operator, I know what I am looking for. Our focus is protecting the interest of the child.

What is your advice to the public?

My advice would be that we be our brother’s keeper. Whatever assistance you can give to the people around you, do it. Most times, we do not help our neighbours. We think more of hurting them than helping them.

Also to our younger ones, I will advise that they stay off vices. Here we try as much as possible to make sure they are enlightened about vices and they are urged to leave responsible lives. That is because you cannot offer what you do not have. If you are not responsible, you cannot make somebody else responsible. If you are not God-conscious, you can hardly make somebody else to be God-conscious.

We make them to have self-esteem here, at school and every other place. We also make them to understand that what makes them to be called orphans is not crime. Anybody that loses his parents is called an orphan. Everybody will lose their parents at some point; the only difference is that their parents died much earlier. We all will be orphans at some points in our lives. It is a normal thing.

The post ‘How we survived the bomb blasts that rocked our neighbourhood in 2002’ appeared first on The Nation Nigeria.


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