Give this to Lara when she returns from the bank. We are running out of these drugs,” my sister said when one evening at the pharmacy, handing me a piece of paper. Lara was the business manager cum account executive of the store who handled most of the purchases of items. I scanned the list, noting with the little knowledge of medicines I had acquired since my time at the pharmacy that a lot of the drugs were for cold, cartarrh and other respiratory conditions. Not surprising considering the weather. It rained nearly everyday and that evening, it had been pouring heavily when I arrived at the store. I put the piece of paper in my bag to give Lara later.

“Good evening. Please I need a good cough syrup for a young boy. Can you recommend one for me?” said a customer a short while latter. My sister who usually made recommendations was at the little cubicle that served as her office at the back of the store. I went and gave her the order and shortly after, I came back with a small bottle of cough syrup from a reputable drug company.

“He needs to take it with another drug which we don’t have in stock at the moment. Check back this time tomorrow and it will be available,” I told the man as I wrote out his bill for payment at the cashier.

“Ok. Thanks. Will stop by on my way from work tomorrow,” the man said before leaving.Some days later, on a Saturday morning, I was at the store when the same man came in with a little boy of about five in tow. The boy immediately headed towards the fridges by the entrance that were stocked full with cold beverages.

“I want a black berry juice,” he stated, pointing towards a chilled canned drink.

“No, Benjy. It’s too cold,” the man said. Turning to me, he added: “He just recovered from the bad cold and cough he had recently and the first thing he wants is a cold drink!”

I smiled down at the boy and offered him some toffees.

“Thank you, Aunty!” he stated, popping one into his mouth.

“Your son is so cute and polite too,” I said, patting him on the head.

The man smiled.

“Don’t be fooled by his angelic looks. He can be quite a handful!”

He made his purchases and before leaving, he stood chatting for a while. I found out his name was Syl and the little boy whom I assumed was his son was actually his nephew.

After that day, he became a regular customer at the pharmacy which also had a section for general goods like cosmetics, food, wines and other products. With time, I got to know more about him. An accountant, he had worked for one of the new generation banks for some years before the consolidation exercise a few years ago, that saw a lot of the banks going under. His bank had been among the unlucky ones and he had consequently lost his job.

After seeking employment for sometime without success, he had decided to go solo, strike out on his own.

“I set up an accounting firm which I run with a former colleague of mine at the bank. It was tough at the beginning but it’s getting better now as our client base has improved,” he had told me. By this time, we had become quite friendly and would often chat on phone. I could see he liked me but at that stage, I just saw him as a friend and a customer.

Then about two months later, he asked me out. It was a house warming party of partner’s elder brother and he needed ‘a date for the evening’ as he put it.

“What about your girlfriend?” I asked.

“Don’t have one,” he stated.

I wondered why a young and handsome guy like him would be without a girlfriend and he said:

“It’s a personal choice.” It seemed he had had a nasty experience with the last lady he dated and he had decided to stay single till now.

“Meeting you has made me realize that not all women are bitches,” he stated bluntly.

Before accepting to go on the outing with him, I discussed it with my big Sister, Barbie.

She had seen him in the store a couple of times though I had not introduced them. Her only condition for accepting the offer was to formally meet him.

“I need to know the young man that is taking my baby sister out,” she stated firmly. So, a few days later, when Syl stopped by at the store, I took him to my sister’s little office and did the introductions.

“A pleasure meeting you. Your sister has told me so much about you,” were his first words to her.

Big Sis smiled and replied:

“Good things, I hope.”

“Yes. But she didn’t tell me how beautiful you are. I thought she was pretty but you are simply stunning. I wish I had met you before her…” he said, eyeing my sister who was dressed in a doctor’s white coat.

“And what would have happened then?” my sister said a little coquettishly.

He shrugged.

“Anything!” he said.

I turned and hit him playfully on the arm.

“Syl!” I exclaimed and both of them laughed.

I could tell that my sister liked and approved of him and that made me warm up to him more.

An ancient tradition

After that first date, Syl and I began to see each other regularly. He was fun to be with and quite caring too. With time, I met other members of his family such as Benjy’s mother who lived with him in his apartment. She was separated from her husband, a violent man who used to beat her a lot especially after drinking, Syl had told me.

“It’s better she stays here where she’s safe than be beaten to death by that beast of a husband,” he had said when he was telling me the story of his younger sister’s unhappy marriage.

His sister, Peggy and I were about the same age and after the initial coolness between us the first day we met, we began to get along with each other.

Syl and I had been dating for some months when my Mum wondered when I was going to bring the ‘young man who had been taking up all my spare time’ home.

I sighed at her words. I had not told my parents about Syl so it could only be one person who had done so: big Sis!

“Yes,I did. And what’s wrong with that? It’s time they met him,” she pointed out.

“Ah, Sister. You know how our parents are. The moment they see him and like him, they will start planning our wedding! I’m not ready for all that stress yet,” I stated.

“Why not? I know you like him a lot, I can even say you are in love from the look on your face whenever he comes looking for you,” she pointed out. I could not deny that. I always felt this warm glow within me whenever I was with Syl; it was a long time I had had that feeling for any man. I felt secure with him and wanted him to be by my side always, to never leave me.

“But he has not proposed,” I said.

“Don’t worry about that. From the way he looks at you, I see a proposal coming soon,”she said assuringly.

It was nearly six months later that her words came to pass. Syl proposed to me one evening after we had gone out to see some friends of his. If I had known what would come after, I would never have accepted to marry him. For things began to happen to us that I never envisaged even in my wildest dream.

While my Dad liked Syl and was in support of the engagement, my Mum preferred I got married to one of her friend’s sons, a silver spoon kid with ‘more money than sense’ as my big Sis used to refer to him.

“What matters is not the young man’s pocket, it’s his character we should consider. Syl seems a decent and hardworking man who will take care of our daughter. Afterall, when I married you all those years ago, we had nothing and were living in two rooms in a ‘face-me-I face you’ type building! But here we are today! Nobody knows what the future holds for him,” my Dad had argued when my mother raised objections to Syl because he was not rich like us.

After that, we began making plans for our future. Things went smoothly until one weekend when some relatives of ours came from the village and told my Dad about an old tradition of our family, a tradition that threatened our well laid out plans…

To be continued

What is this ancient family tradition that may affect Emily’s marriage plans? Join us next Saturday for the sizzling details!

Send comments/suggestions to 08023201831(sms only), psaduwa@yahoo.com or psaduwa007@gmail.com

FASHION designers all over Africa have taken accessories to the next level by using African prints popularly known as ankara in Nigeria to make bags and other fashion accessories. The popularity of ankara was underscored a couple of years back as it captured the attention of the art and the fashion industry. It is now being made into beach shorts, pants, play suits, evening dresses and so on. Bangles, slippers, purses, earrings, shoes and so on are also being made with this fabric.

The best part of it is that it is cheaper than the regular leather and still makes you look sophisticated. If it is a popular accessory, it definitely has an ankara alternative. It has become so legendary that people go to party with bags and shoes made of the same ankara fabric.

Even the men are not left out as they also wear ankara as jackets, ties and casual wear. They flex it and do some really lovely styles. The fabric can be used for both office and formal occasions depending on the style.

I realise that a lot of singles are so particular about finding the right person that they drain all their energy in the search, but when he surfaces, little or nothing is done to sustain the relationship. It is not getting into a relationship that matters. As a matter of fact, that is just the tip of the iceberg. It is one thing to find a relationship,it is another thing to sustain it. Staying in a relationship needs a lot of work. And for most singles, that is where they miss it.

You see, although love cements a relationship, it takes much more than love to sustain it. As an individual, you need to work on improving your strengths, thereby downplaying your weaknesses. I know of a mature single lady who craves for a serious relationship, but is about to blow it because she is missing the point of sustaining her relationship.

After Joke and I got acquainted, on studying her, I realized she was really a nice person with a good heart. Each time we talked, I could sense someone who craved for a serious relationship, but all the guys who came her way ended up dumping her and moving with another woman. Joke and I got really close and we even got spiritual about the whole thing. She fasted and prayed for weeks, concentrating on God’s word and all too soon he came.

Anyway, he not only swept Joke off her feet, but he treated her with so much respect that there was no contesting he was heaven sent. All that was about two years ago, and guess what? Matt called me a few weeks ago to say he was calling off the relationship with Joke. I wasn’t surprised though because I realised that Joke although has a very good heart, but her attitude is nauseating. As a working class, she was able to give herself and their family some good comfort. But her financial independence got too far. Don’t get me wrong, it is good to be financially independent, of course. But Joke’s financial independence became her undoing because of the way she handled it. Perhaps paranoid from the fact that she had lost confidence in relationship I could sense her laid-back attitude to work on her relationship with Matt, as we fondly called him.

Indeed Joke was optimistic about getting into a relationship and she indeed got one by the Grace of God, but she wasn’t doing anything to make her relationship work without actually realising it. Matt, at some point, had called me to speak about her attitude with me and I assured him she would turn a new leave. For the most part of their relationship, she took him for granted. After almost two years, she wouldn’t even accept to meet his family when he demanded for her to meet with them. She was too engrossed in making money that she didn’t seem to realise  she was taking him for granded. Her excuse was always that she loved Matt no doubt, but she needed to secure their future together. The truth was she wished that their relationship would end in marriage, but the kind of lifestyle she had imbibed as someone who was fortunate to get a well- paying job after her graduation from the university, she couldn’t sacrifice a little time for her relationship, not even weekends.  All Matthew’s complaints about her attitude seemed to fall on deaf years.

Don’t think she was taking Matt for granted because she was seeing someone else. I can tell you for sure that she wasn’t seeing anyone and that indeed she genuinely felt something for Matt and was looking forward to becoming a bride, but her uncontrollable quest for comfort and laid- back attitude didn’t let that come to fruition. Joke always extended financial assistance to Matt, but he wasn’t that sort of man. He was a proud man who didn’t believe in living off a lady. He knew he could give Joke the kind of life that she wanted, so all he wanted from her was to give him attention. He was contended with a low-paying job and even would go out of his way to buy her some luxury items. So after close to two years of their relationship,, he decided to move on. But to my chagrin, Joke almost went mad because of the break-up. “So you really love Matt”, I asked her and she echoed, of course. “I’ve never loved any other guy the way I love him.” “ Yet you take him for granted, not giving him attention that he deserves? Living him to do the loving alone?” She kept looking at me. She further  said, “But I always reassured him verbally of my love for him just so that he’s not in doubt about it. So why is he doing this now?”

My sister, love is not just enough. You need more than love to sustain a relationship. Ask our parents that have been married for years, they will tell you. Relationship is a lot of work. You have to work on improving your relationship, line of communication and  fire of love.

So I advise all singles to work on themselves. If you think you’ve found the right person, then don’t take him for granted because we are meant to love and be loved in return. That is the only way a relationship can stand the text of time.

Some sisters have terrible attitude that is a put- off for prospective spouses. Yeah, like Joke who so wanted to have a serious relationship. She got one, yet she is on the verge of blowing her chance with Matt just because she wouldn’t step out of her comfort zone to spend time with the one man who can’t leave without her. Matt and I have discussed their issue and I have begged him not to walk out on my friend because I know how she so loves him and wants to get married and start a family, but what I couldn’t assure him was if Joke will ever turn a new leave. Dear readers, do you think Matt should reconsider his stance or should he just move on. Just like my friend, Matt can’t wait to start his own family and has found someone (Joke) who he loves so much. The only snag in the relationship is her attitude. Do you think he will not regret his decision to marry Joke? Right now, he’s kept her incommunicado, just to teach her some lesson, but intends to go back to her so they can settle down, but what kind of future lies ahead of them, if she doesn’t eventually turn a new leave. Matthew wants to know if he should move on or wait to see if Joke will learn anything with the step he has taken already to call off the relationship, even though he intends to get back with her.

Away from Joke now, what is that attitude that you have that is not helping you to settle down when we ought to. You need to make a conscious effort to dump them. You need to deliberately strive towards being a better person.

Talking about attitude, for some people, their own attitude that’s not making them settle is their aura. The aura around some ladies can be a put-off to their would-be sister-in-law and brother-in-law. Please, let’s learn to put our best foot out. Don’t try to break family bonds.

Love is never enough. Get a good attitude that fosters relationship. Some have lost potential husbands because of their attitude of not trying to improve their own life, but hoping that the man will do everything for them. A woman is a not a liability. If a man needs a liability, then he can get a luxury car and maintain it. Even that car has brand equity on its owner because he will be perceived as a successful man, especially in the kind of society we are in.  Strive to  build yourself, so that your partner can be proud of you. I am not saying a guy shouldn’t care for the lady he says he loves. Of course, he should, but don’t become lazy. Aspire to leave a meaningful life.

I can go on and on and talk about attitude that are not helpful to sustaining a relationship. But let me stop here so that we do not lose focus of the main subject of today topic. Matthew who is at the  cross-roads and needs meaningful contributions that can help him to make a decision that he will not regret in future. Please, endeavour to send a text. Matters of the heart are a very serious issue and require constructive advice that will foster a good marriage. The reason why there are tons and tons of divorce cases today is because of the problem of choice. A lot of people make the wrong decision when picking a spouse. Having a good relationship begins with picking the right person.

FIT is everything. There is no way around it, if the gown is ill-fitting. It just won’t work. The most important thing  is to make sure that you have a really good fit. If things don’t fit right, then you are going to be tugging at them or pulling them up or you have to worry about weird undergarments.

Have a back-up plan

Even if you have your heart set on a gown, it’s always a good idea to have two or three options on hand.

Carefully consider undergarments

Whether it’s full-body armour to hold everything in place or a flesh-toned slip, what you wear underneath the gown can pretty much make or break your red carpet look.

Wear comfortable heels

You cannot always expect to find fabulous strappy heels that match perfectly to your dress and fit comfortably. “A really good trick that I always have in my kit is spray deodorant,” says Peden- a style consultant “A lot of the time shoes are a little too small and this often leads to swollen or sweaty feet. So, deodorant actually helps shoes fit better.” Spray deodorant inside of the heel of your shoe before heading out. “Your foot slides in and it just stays cool and dry”.

Practice your red carpet pose

You want to work your dress in front of the cameras and not the other way around.

At 72, ace actor, Oludotun Jacobs, popularly known as Olu Jacobs, remains an evergreen in the nation’s entertainment industry. In this interview with OLASUMBO OTAGBO, the artiste, who has put in many years in the make-believe world, shares his experience. Excerpts:

NIGERIA of my childhood.  My name is Oludotun Jacobs. I am 72 years, I am an actor and I have been one for almost 50 years. I am a Nigerian, my parent are from Ogun State. I had a good fortune of going round the world, and I see how the others live. You will see that our leaders have to buckle up because it will be very sad if by tomorrow we pick up placards and begin to match against them. We believe they can do good. There is a kind of reawakening at the moment and I hope it continues in a positive light. We are suffering quite a lot, majority of the people in Nigeria have to cater for their own water, light, road, they build their own roads and the government will come and say they should pay tax. Even when we get some funding from international source, they disappear; they come in and disappear and nobody asks any question. It is very sad, I grew up in a country where I thought it can only be second to heaven, if America or Britain were better than how Nigeria was then, then it must be like Heaven. Nigeria was a wonderful country and you are free to go anywhere. And wherever you went, you were welcomed, north, south, east or west, you were welcomed. Being a stranger in that land wouldn’t worry you because will get the best, they will welcome you and introduce you to people who will assist you if you need any assistance. When you are going on annual holiday, you come from Lagos to Kano, Jos, Port-Harcourt. These were holiday spots we had within the country by rail. It was wonderful, you look forward to it. At the end of the term, you go straight from your school to the station where you will board train home. Everything was fine, it was safe. I remember the riot in 1956, a stone hit my dad in the elbow and we were complaining that my dad had an injury. Some people were crying because their own men were dead. That was the first time I experienced tear gas. I thought I was dead because it was choking, I didn’t know I would survive it.

My experience as a child

Growing up in Nigeria was wonderful. There were many Southerners in Kano, and wherever you go, there were Ibo, Yoruba, Itsekiri, Urhobo, Calabari and so on. During Christmas, masquerades come out from every community and they gathered at the stadium ground. What we are doing today is not the same thing.

My journey into the world of make-believe

I was very close to the church. I was a member of the choir, the dancing group and the drama group. We had festivals every year in the church and I was the only male in the group, but that didn’t stop me. In fact, I made more money than the girls did and it was quite fun. Even in school, I did that and my parent were always coming to see what I was doing because I would nag them to submission. Then after a while, they too began to come willingly. One day, I was sent on an errand and I heard this music coming from the back of a lorry. I picked one of the leaflets and saw Ogunde Concert Party. Then I put it in my pocket. When I got home, I called my mother and said I saw this, and she said they always come every year. I said I would go, and we all went. It was played in one hotel called Colonial Hotel. They were dancing and talking and everywhere was booming. My dad and the family were talking, but I didn’t talk. I was watching the atmosphere. Then the light went off and the stage light came up. And they did what Ogunde called the opening glee (beginning of the show). That was the point I made up my mind I would be an actor.

What was your father’s response?

When I told my father I wanted to act, he said act? What? Is play work? If play is not work, how can you say you want to play. As if that was not enough, I told him I wanted to go to England to study acting. He said no and tore my application form. But fortunately for me, my brothers were processing their own passports too, so they helped me secure my visa. The day I was ready to go, I was with them all morning, the train to Lagos was 12pm and I had smuggled my suitcase out the night before. By 10:30am, I left home. But I was afraid my father might call my uncle in Lagos to stop me. But nothing happened. That was how I went to London. When I saw somebody going home, I sent a letter to my father with a tobacco and three pipes. But unfortunately, I never saw him again.

My marriage

I have been married for over 28 years. We work together and she is achieving her goal, while I am also achieving my own goal. When we sit down together, we have something to talk about. And if there is any advice needed, we give advice to each other. So, we are partners for life.

Raising our children

We thank God for the nature of our work. We were able to take them to rehearsals, theatre and do some jobs. And when the children grew older, we got maids for them. They have at one time or the other featured in our plays. There are other parts of the business that they are into. There is the acting side, managing side. For example, Soji, my first son, is the General Manager of the academy, I am the Chairman and my wife is the MD.

Efforts to bring back the theatre culture

It is unfortunate that theatre can never be the way it was because it is too expensive. You spend the same amount to make a movie and at the movie can be watched over and over again. But for the play, each time you want to produce a play, it must cost you the same amount of money. Most stage productions now, apart from school productions, are done for the public. They must have sponsors for them to be able to produce. But we are trying to bring it back through the academy. We are concentrating on the various instruments that one needs to be a good actor.

The secret behind my fitness

I make sure that I do at least 30 minutes exercise every day.  The exercises include press-ups, breathing exercises and I halved everything I used to eat. I also try as much as possible to rest.

THE people of Umuechem community in Etche Local Government Area of Rivers State have demanded for justice and full compensation on the alleged massacre that led to the death of over 200 people in 1990. It would be recalled that 24 years ago, Umuechem, one of the oil communities in Rivers State, was allegedly attacked by the military after the people protested against environmental degradation caused by oil spill from the operation of Shell Petroleum Development (SPDC) in the area. In a Town Hall meeting during the week in Port Harcourt, Rivers State capital, with Social Action, a non-governmental organisation, the community said the judicial panel set up over the incident did not present a true and fair picture of what happened to their community in 1990. The chairman of the Umuechem Progressive Union Mr. Onwuli Johnson, and other members of the community expressed confidence that the NGO would bring justice to the community and assist them to get their full compensation. The community, who is set for its annual celebration on November 1st 2014, said over 200 houses were burnt down and destroyed with dynamite and other explosives. Mr. Johnson said: “We are happy that Social Action has come to intervene, unlike other NGOs which visited this community but regrettably nothing has come out of it. We are confident that Social Action’s intervention will be the end of our cries for justice. “We have agreed that the Umuechem resolution paper on the 1990 massacre will be presented and handed over to Social Action at the second Town Hall meeting which will take place before November 1st, 2014. “I want the NGO to understand that only N2500 was paid as relief funds to the people. And not all the cheques issued as relief funds were cleared. No other money was paid to anybody for whatever reasons. Most of the people murdered were thrown into the Chokocho River by their attackers.” Another community leader, Chief Sylvester Nwala, in his solidarity speech, said the mass murder that took place in Umuechem in 1990 happened to human beings and not plants or sands. “We have the account of what happened to us and such is unforgettable; no amount of money could be quantified with what the people and the community had suffered. I believe Social Action will achieve our expected dream.” Responding, the NGO’s Head of Community Action and Paralegal Centres, Celestine Akpobari, said his team was in the community to assess the plight of the community and to find ways to assist them to get justice. He said for many years now, the intervention of Social Action has become the only source of hope to those seeking for justice of all kinds. “We are here to intervene, this is a non-violent action. We are glad that the community understands our working plan to achieve justice.” When contacted, the Rivers State Police Public Relations Officer (PPRO), Ahmad Muhammed, said: ‘’That was a long time ago. I cannot comment on something I don’t know until I lay my hands on the available records.

DAYS after he was attacked by robbers and stripped of the sum of N29,000 on his way to Port Harcourt, Rivers State, a Beninoise also took to armed robbery. Thirty-year-old Bernard Bongi said he was travelling to Port Harcourt for his mother’s burial and payment of his fiacee’s younger brother’s school fees when he was accosted by robbers who took away the sum of N29,000 meant for the two purposes. He said that in his desperate search for money, he was left with no choice but to also take to robbery Bongi was, however, arrested by operatives of the Special Anti-Robbery Squad (SARS) of the Lagos State Police Command after an order issued by the Commissioner of Police, Mr. Kayode Aderanti to the officer in charge SARS, Mr. Abba Kyari, a Superintendent of Police, to track down members of a robbery gang that disarmed two policemen who were sleeping on duty and recover their Ak47 rifles. Identifying himself as the leader of the robbery gang, Bongi, whose nickname is Champion, said: “I was coming back from Port Harcourt in a night bus more than a month ago when some boys numbering about six ordered all the passengers to come down and lie on the ground. They collected my wristwatch, cell phone and N29,000 cash which I wanted to give my fiancée’s younger brother to go to school. That was what made me to become an armed robber because I was desperate to get money to bury my mother. “ The second suspect, Ifeanyi Okafor (35), a welder turned conductor, works at Sunrise, Apapa with a trailer. Asked why he was arrested by the police at Obalende, Lagos, he said: “I was arrested because I went to rob at Ogombo area of Ajah. We snatched handsets, ipad and gold jewellery worth thousands of naira. “We were five in number. We scaled the fence and entered the house through the window. We met the woman with her husband and two daughters while it was raining heavily. We arrested them and started asking them where their money was kept in the house but they said there was no money. Only the husband gave us N20,000, pleading that it was the only money in the house. We collected the money with ipad and jewellery. “We then asked them about the other house at the backyard and the wife said it was for domestic workers. We went to knock at the door of the domestic workers, not knowing that they were policemen on duty. When the door was opened, we found that they were sleeping and we grabbed them and collected their guns. “When we were leaving, we threw away the guns inside the gutter.” On why he became a robber, he said: “I joined a robbery gang because the driver I used to follow to work had an accident and I had no other driver to follow and no money to feed. “I am not married. I rented a house at Agbara for N170,000. It is a self-contained oneroom apartment. I got the money when I was following a trailer. I saved N2,000 daily for two years. We are four in the family; two men and two women. I am the first son. My parents are late.” Asked how many operations he had participated in, Bongi said: “I had gone to three robbery operations. The first one was in Victoria Island, at Whynot Club. We went there and sat down. We kept watch to see a guest that was drunk and threatened him with broken bottles. We collected all his money, phones, wristwatch and Mercedes SUV. The buyer of the SUV, Amadi, has not given us a dime till date. “The second operation was in the same club on Victoria Island. We went there after two weeks. This time, the victims were a man and a woman. The man had a Nissan Amada SUV and the lady a Toyota Camry. “The Camry stopped on the road and we abandoned it at Mile 2 but managed to carry the Amada Jeep to Cotonou where I sold it for N300,000. Four of us, namely Bernard, Emeka Small, Obinna and Chukwuma shared the money. “From the robbery, I was able to make N150,000 out of which I sent N100,000 to my people for the burial of my mother who was then in the mortuary in Benin Republic. “I am based in Cotonou but I normally come to Nigeria once in a while because I once worked here as a driver in an insurance company on Lagos Island. We never used gun. We only use cutters to cut burglaries in order to have access into the house. “The Ak47 rifles we collected from the police were not used by us. We put them in a sack we got from the house of the woman and threw it the gutter. When we got inside the compound, we used a cutter to cut the burglary. When we saw two policemen sleeping, Ifeanyi collected the gun and Small grabbed one of the policemen. Obi grabbed the other one and collected his gun. “One of the policemen scaled the fence and escaped. We started hearing gunshots from Odua Peoples Congress (OPC) vigilance group. We became confused and abandoned the new Toyota Highlander and Toyota Camry and ran away.”

A robbery suspect, Olawunmi Oluwafemi, has said that he would not have been arrested by operatives of the Special Anti- Robbery Squad (SARS) of the Ogun State Police Command if he had carried his charms with him while exchanging gunfire with the police because they would have acted as ‘bulletproof’. T h i r t y – t h r e e – y e a r – o l d Oluwafemi a.k.a. Femi Kuti, a native of Okuku, Osun State also confessed that his special role in cult fights and the robbery gang to which he belonged was to shoot dead anyone identified as an enemy, adding that he had killed more than eight people.

The suspect and some members of his gang who were still at large were said to have constituted a public threat in Ogun State as they killed and maimed innocent people under the cover of Eyee, an occult group that carried out all sorts of criminal activities, including armed robbery and bloody cult fights.

A police source said the cult had wanted to unleash terror during the annual Ojude Oba festival in Ijebu Ode before the Ogun State Commissioner of Police, Okoye Ikemefuna, ordered Mohammed Tijani, the Superintendent of Police in charge of SARS), to relocate to the area for effective policing and possible arrest of Oluwafemi and other members of the gang.

It was said to have taken the police a lot of patience to arrest Oluwafemi, the suspected leader of the gang, because they did not want to hurt innocent people at the ceremony. The police also did not want to shoot him in a manner that he would die so that he would be able to help the police to locate the fleeing members of the gang. In the exchange of gunfire that ensued, the police succeeded in shooting Oluwafemi in the lower limb so that he could not run again, after which he was arrested.

Yet at the time he spoke with our correspondent, Oluwafemi was in critical condition as he could not stand with his badly battered legs. The police also revealed that they recovered from him a locally made double barrel pistol loaded with live ammunition, three expended cartridges and some charms. Speaking with our correspondent, Oluwafemi said he was married with two children but had to sack his wife after finding her with another man. “If not for the two children she had for me, I would have shot her dead the day I caught her committing adultery with one stupid man,” he said. Oluwafemi added: “My parents are late.

My father died of a brief illness while my mother and grandmother died of old age. My father’s name is Olajere Oluwafemi. He was sick before he died in the 1990s while my mother died in an auto accident. “There were three of us born of the same mother and father. I attended Okuku Community High School and completed the Senior Secondary School in flying colours. But I could not go to university for financial reasons and a misunderstanding between my father and my mother.

I started seeing hell when my father and mother separated and threw me out to my grandmother, who managed to take care of my secondary education. “When I could not secure an employment, I decided to go into apprenticeship, learning how to operate saw machine. I later got employed in one of the saw mills in Ijebu on a monthly salary of N10,000. “I later left the saw mill and started selling hard drugs. It was the business that brought me into contact with some cult members and some rich people in town because they were the ones that patronised me.” Asked how he was initiated into Eyee cult, he said: “It was one Ahmed, a friend, who introduced me to the Eyee society.

We lived in the same area in Ijebu. My mother is an Ijebu woman. One day, Ahmed told me that we should go to one party and enjoy ourselves. He advised me to dress well so that we would not be prevented from getting in. I knew him to be a cult member but I did not know that he planned to initiate me into the cult. “When we got there, we entered a beer parlour. As I looked towards the back of the compound, I saw some boys who looked like Eyee members. We started drinking but those at the backyard were drinking and smoking heavily. He later left me and went somewhere he did not disclose to me. He came back around 8 pm and asked me to follow him into a nearby bush around Olabisi Onabanjo University.

“There were many boys there, including cult members and new members about to be initiated. They ordered me to join those who came to be initiated. We line up and more people joined us, making the line to become longer. “At a point, they started beating us. They stripped us of our clothes so that only our pants remained. They marched on us, dancing, drinking and smoking as they did so. I had no choice but to be patient with them. They blindfolded us so that we would not know where we were. There were more than 30 of us and they beat us with horsewhip or till day break.

“They asked us so many questions, including whether we would be able to keep their secrets or reveal them to non-members. We said no. As they were beating and marching on us, they were asking for our names and writing them in a note book. “Later, they brought kolanut and used a razor blade to cut open my finger. They mixed my blood with the kolanut and asked me to chew everything. After this, they started giving us our initiate names. I was given Ayee Skipoo. “Later, they asked us to move to one side.

They moved us out of the initiation ground, untied our faces and started giving us orientation. They threatened that if any of us betrayed the society or cult, the oath we took would kill us. “I was given my first assignment when Eyee cult members killed one of my members (Eyee member) inside the main campus of Ogun State University. Fortunately for us, we went to drink palm wine and to smoke gbana

Dr. Abubakar Jimoh, who has been the image maker of the National Agency for Food and Drugs Administration and Control (NAFDAC) since inception, is currently the Director of Special Duties of the agency. In this encounter with SANNI ONOGU, he gave an insight into the inner workings of the agency from inception and his life lessons as he clocks 50 today. Excerpts:

THE core mandate of NAFDAC is to control and regulate drugs and food products, what are the implications of not keeping to set standards, especially in the manufacture and consumption of consumer goods like food and fake drugs? Obviously what you are asking me is what are the health consequences of poor quality products, counterfeit drugs, unwholesome processed food, corrosive cosmetics, poor quality packaged water and substandard medical devices? The effects are so obvious as it relates to the regulatory activities of NAFDAC and NAFDAC regulated products. The damage to vital organs of the body of all these regulated products because it impacts directly on the health of the individual as opposed to other products being regulated by the Standards Organisation of Nigeria some of which are not edible. But NAFDAC’s regulated products are products that you consume, you take and that you apply to your body. It is related to human beings and even animals. So to that extent, it has direct effect on the body. So if it is not qualitative or up to standard like you pointed out, obviously the consequences are so glaring and grave, especially in terms of the devastating health consequences. So, if you are talking of counterfeit drugs, they can lead to damage of vital organs of the body like liver cirrhosis. They can lead to the damage to kidneys and other vital human organs in the body. It can lead to the impairment of vital organs of the body. Once those organs, which are the engine of the human being, are affected, if it is not effectively managed, it can lead to death. But even at times when you use counterfeit eye drops, it can lead to blindness. So many parts of the body are very sensitive and once a drug is counterfeit it portents grave health implications. Also, it tries to erode the confidence that you have in the therapeutic efficiency of the clinicians – either medical doctors, nurses and other healthcare providers who administer these drugs. They begin to wonder what is happening when a counterfeit drug is administered. Patient A takes in efficacious drugs and gets well instantly and the drug does what it is meant to do. Then, patient B takes a counterfeit drug. The consequences are quite obvious because it is the opposite of it. To that extent, the person may even be sent to instant death depending on the gravity of the counterfeited drug, especially if its is outright poison. If it is an intravenous injection, the person can even die immediately because it goes straight into the blood. We don’t joke with the issue of counterfeit drugs and that is why the DG NAFDAC, Dr. Paul Orhii, believes that a drug counterfeiter is worse than an armed robber. An armed robber points a gun at you at one goal and if you are lucky and you are able to surrender what you have, he or she may be merciful and leave you to go scud free, although he has collected what he wants to dispossess you of. But a counterfeiter does not give you that option, according to Dr. Paul Orhii. When you have a relation that is hospitalised, you will even go and borrow the money you don’t have to buy these counterfeit drugs and come and administer. So, it is grievous and it can kill enmasse. An armed robber is one at a goal or maybe he enters a household and there are three people there and the three people may become victims. But counterfeit drugs that you supplied in stock to a community, it can wipe out a community through gradual death without people knowing what is responsible for the death of these people. To that extent, we see the phenomenon of counterfeiting as genocidal because it kills quietly without anybody tracing it to the counterfeit drug. Also, it reduces the productive segment of the population. By killing people it is a minus and not a plus for the economy. It also has effect on our economy when counterfeit drugs are imported because you use our foreign exchange to import some of these drugs that come from some particular Asian countries. So these are some of the consequences of counterfeit drugs. The same thing can be extrapolated for unwholesome processed food and corrosive cosmetics that contain some banned chemicals. They also lead to the damage of vital organs of the body which results in bleaching. That is why we call them regulated products. It is different from when you want to buy ‘okrika’ whose effect is not as grievous as when you have NAFDAC regulated products because it goes straight into the body. Apart from the concerted efforts made by the different heads of NAFDAC up till Dr. Paul Orhii – from the first DG to Akunyili and now Dr. Orhii, people are quick to credit your office with the robust media visibility of NAFDAC especially starting from the time of Akunyili up till now. How did you achieve the feet? Thank you very much. With a great sense of modesty and humility, I would say that any achievement I was able to record as the head of public relations unit right from inception, I will attribute it to the entire NAFDAC staff because as a media man – I started as a journalist before veering off into public relations practice – I do know that if you don’t have a story, if there is no activity there is no news. NAFDAC under the distinguished leadership of these three people, from Osuide, Akunyili and Dr. Paul Orhii have been marvelous. The staff have been efficient, world class and a shining model for other agencies. As a matter of fact, people tend to call NAFDAC Plc – Plc in the sense that we work like a private enterprise. I told you our job is 24/7, so no resting on our oars because we believe that the sacred duty, the trust that has been vested in us is the life of over 170 million Nigerians. We don’t joke with it. God forbid, once there is a calamity and the death of one single person, NAFDAC will not be able to sleep. We know the enormity and the challenges we have and we rose up to it. So, I will credit or attribute the successes we have recorded in terms of the visibility and the robust public awareness campaign overall to the contribution of all NAFDAC’s regulatory officers. I am speaking in terms of seizures, in terms of arrests and breaking the news for us to report. If there is no activity then a public relations officer, no matter how efficient, there is nothing you can do. Also, we are very conscious of our image as a transparent and honest agency because corruption is a direct antithesis of effective regulation. So to that extent, our leaders have had zero tolerance to corruption right from Osuide to Prof. Dora Akunyili and now Dr. Paul Orhii. The cliche is zero tolerance for corruption because you cannot marry the two and that has been our own strength. I am not saying there is no one or two bad eggs that have been shown the way out of the system, so to that extent these have coalesced into the efficiency that we have in NAFDAC. Without being immodest, I would also want to say that the approach we have used in NAFDAC is highly unconventional. They are approaches you cannot read in public relation books based on our ingenious ability to create and recreate new strategies in staying ahead of the game but we will not let our secret out of the bag (Laughs). Today, you will be celebrating your 50th birthday. How was it like growing up? Were you born with a silver spoon in your mouth? Well, growing up was quite interesting for me. I come from a rural background in Okene. I was born and bred in Okene town, Okene Local Government Area of Kogi State. My upbringing was quite interesting as a child. I grew up from what you may call a middle class background. I can’t say my parents were rich but we are not poor. It was like a middle class. I also grew up from a parentage that I would say were halfway literate because my father finished what we call the Standard 7 of those days and he had to develop himself educationally, then later he veered off into produce buying like cocoa which took him to the Western Region as it were in those days and my mother also followed closely – obviously where your husband is going, you go. My mother was a produce trader buying in wholesale like beans, garri and also distributing to other retailers. This was the type of background I grew up in and that was why I said it is a middle class background because for a wholesale buyer, you need capital to be able to work. Again, that also translated into making my educational background to be seamless. I didn’t lack in terms of school fees and other necessary needs but I didn’t have enough because I also had my other siblings who were also being trained and all of us were competing for attention for the same scarce resources. To that extent, my growing up was very fantastic for me. I grew up as a village boy from my local government area primary school to a community school called the Lennon Memorial College – it used to be an Anglican College in those days in Okene. From Lennon Memorial College, I went to Kwara State College of Technology which is now called Kwara Poly to do my basic studies. There I wrote my A’level GCE and JAMB. So it has been a fantastic experience. From there I went to the University of Ibadan to read Political Science at the university in 1984 – 1987 and I graduated as the best student in the Department of Political Science and also the entire Faculty of the Social Sciences, which comprised about five departments. That was in 1987 and I won the two prizes for the best student in the department of Political Science and also the entire Faculty of the Social Sciences in 1987. That was a record so to say, even though I was just a little points away from making a First Class, but that record was like breaking the jinx in the Political Science Department because after 10 years, the person who made that first overall in the Faculty which is one of the current Vice Chancellors of the University of Ibadan, Prof. Agbaje, and I broke the jinx 10 years after and became the overall in the faculty. As it were, it used to be rotated between the Department of Psychology and Economics because they were always making their First Class but I came and broke that jinx. God was faithful, I didn’t set out to be the best just like in my secondary school also, I didn’t set out to be the best. But due to dint of hard work, I was always competing against myself because I didn’t know what the other classmates were doing. I would set a target for myself in a particular course and say this is what I want to score and if I score it I keep on moving. So it was shocking to me that they started looking for me at the end of the year at the University of Ibadan. ‘Who is Abu Jimoh? Who is Abu Jimoh?’ I was quiet in class. I was unknown so to say. I was not the noise making type and it came as a surprise me and I started wondering whether I had committed any offence for them to be looking for me, and they told me that I was the best student in the entire faculty not even in the department but the entire Faculty of the Social Sciences. God was faithful and God was merciful to me so I give glory to God for those yeoman achievements. After I finished my university, my first major luck was to be retained as one of the best in the university but it was shocking to me and highly disappointing when they rejected me. I went to the Head of the Department of Political Science, Dr. Adebisi as it were, he later became a Professor and the Secretary to the Oyo State Government. He was the Head of Department. As a young man of 22 and half years, I was very young, so I went to him as the tradition holds whether I could be retained because I had the love and the flair for academia so I could become a lecturer because my dream was to become a Professor of Political Science, stay quietly in the university community and do research that would be helpful to humanity. Shockingly, I was told to go to my state, that was when we were in Kwara State, to the University of Ilorin. As a young man, I said ‘the University of Ilorin didn’t produce me, the University of Ibadan should celebrate me,’ but I didn’t know what was wrong, I was not celebrated and that was the very shock of my life which I got as a young man. I was disappointed. So I was turned down and I had to go out there in the cold, went for my Youth Service Corps, came back and I started looking for job. So luckily, I was looking up to some other guys who had graduated from the University of Ibadan like Dr. Ojo Onukaba, and as it were, he also left Lennon Memorial College as I was entering, then as I was going to the University of Ibadan he was also leaving again. So, to me he was a role model. So when I heard he was practising in Guardian Newspaper and was making great successes I also wanted to be like him. So I left as a young boy for Lagos and went to Guardian Newspaper. As a matter of fact, I met him as a young boy, although he would not recall now and I said I wanted to start reporting for The Guardian. I didn’t know anything about journalism because I didn’t read Mass Communication but I saw him as a role model because I was enamoured by his performance in Lennon Memorial College also down to the University of Ibadan. So I wanted to be like him. But he told me that I had to freelance for sometime and I said ‘no.’ Inside me, I thought that was not what I was cut out for – freelancing with no salary when I felt that I should come and play the role of a good boy and contribute something meaningfully to the upbringing and educational development of my siblings. So I was anxious and said this is not for me and l left for Kano where I was lucky. My auntie who was based in Kano, through her connection, I was able to get to the Triumph Publishing Company – The Kano State Government-owned Triumph Newspaper – shortly after I finished my NYSC. So in October 1998 without even suffering I got a job because while I was scouting for job I didn’t know what to do – I was confused. But as luck would would have it, the former Managing Director – he is late now, Dr. Madaki – he was a friend to my auntie’s family. He came visiting and they gave him my Curriculum Vitae and he was so happy and he asked ‘who made this result?’ They quickly called me and when he saw me, he said ‘you have this result, the best student in the Department of Political Science and Faculty of Social Science, this is marvelous and amazing’ and that this is the type of talent they want to showcase in Triumph Publishing Company. He told me that I should go straightaway on the following Monday and meet one young man, as it were, Alhaji Garba Shehu, who was the Editor and he later became the President of the Nigeria Guild of Editors. Garba Shehu is still the media adviser to the former Vice President Atiku Abubakar, as we speak. So he interviewed me and there and then I started work as a journalist without even any tutorials. So I had to be attached to some other colleagues who had been on the job to understudy them. Then within two months I started reporting by myself and thereafter I was employed specifically, even though I had not practised journalism, to go and be the State Editor of Kwara State for the Triumph Newspapers because as it were the officer who was there left, the place was shut down and I was employed specifically with the intention of going to reopen that place. After working for about three months understudying them, they now left me alone to be practising and going to report and they studied me and discovered that this is marvelous and I have been performing well even though I had not gone to the school of journalism. From there, I was posted and I had to go and look for an office in Kwara State, then got an office. They set it up and I became the State Editor of Triumph Newspaper. I was just barely there in 1990 when I was transferred to go to Lagos to go and reposition the aviation industry and the crime beat. So I was transferred to Lagos as the Southern Correspondent of Triumph Newspaper and that was where I was and reporting the aviation industry, crime and other general beats. I had to use the great opportunity to quickly put in for my Master’s Degree at the University of Lagos and that was where I had my Master’s just as I was working sidelines. So after five and half years, I felt that I had paid my dues and I had to move on. I got into the Federal Ministry of Health just barely for about one year as a Protocol Officer and I was not getting the fulfillment I wanted because I was used to the very dynamic and active journalism that I had practised; so coming to sit down on a desk and idling away was alien to me and I did not understand it. Just as I was doing that, NAFDAC was being carved out of the Federal Ministry of Health as a regulatory agency and I took specific advantage of that and the pioneer Director General, Dr. Gabriel Osuide, took me on board. But somebody had to introduce me because when I was practising journalism I forged a friendship with the interim or somebody we can call the Minister of State as it were at that time, she is late now, Hajia Laraba Daggash – the mother of Senator Daggash. She took likeness in me as a son and was like my guardian. She just took personal interest in what I was doing as a journalist and he encouraged me. I told her I wanted to join the Federal Ministry of Health and she used her position to get me into the Federal Ministry of Health. As I was certain that I was not getting the fulfillment, I told her I wanted NAFDAC – the newly created regulatory agency in 1993. She said okay, no problem and she introduced me to Prof. Gabriel Osuide. I would say luck played a very fast one on me because after I was introduced to Prof. Osuide, he told me to go and wait, that nothing was happening. He was trying to put up the structure and each time I wanted to make effort the secretary would prevent me from seeing them because as it were they already had their own candidate for the post of public relations officer. So, we had the journalist from the defunct Daily Times – a Yoruba guy – and the Secretary was Yoruba and the Personal Assistant was Yoruba. So they had already forged an alliance on how to position the young man there. As a matter of fact, the guy had already started doing the PR job – doing newspaper cuttings, organising press conferences, gathering journalists and all those things – doing the work quietly. But I think luck, providence, and divine intervention was on my side and Prof. Osuide had to ask the PA to go and look for that young man called Abubakar Jimoh and when they looked out for me by then I was already in the Federal Ministry of Health as a Protocol Officer just about four offices away from Prof. Osuide’s. As a matter of fact, when Prof. Osuide was going into his office early in the morning I would greet him because I had given up that they had prevented me from entering NAFDAC. So they dropped a letter – because they didn’t know my address again because I was not following up again – I had given up – in my Triumph Publishing Company office, the address I used in the past and the driver there graciously brought it for me because I was good to him and that is why I will advise that people should be good to people. He would have thrown that letter away and that would have been the end of me. He brought that letter and said ‘there was a precious letter brought to you and I had to bring it to you.’ By then I had left Triumph Newspaper, so he brought it to me and I opened it – ‘DG NAFDAC wants you urgently’ – so I had to resume. And the DG said ‘young man where have you been?’ And I said ‘sir I greet you every day when you are passing by. This is my office, I am a Protocol Officer here.’ He said ‘what do you mean?’ Literally, he said ‘what do you want now? Do you you still want to work with me?’ I said ‘of course sir, I want to work with you.’ He said ‘work starts n-o-w!’ That is how I became the pioneer head of public relations unit of the National Agency for Food and Drugs Administration and Control in December that year. They told me that I should start and I can operate from my small office since it is still the same Ministry of Health and NAFDAC had not been given an office – we were just trying to do some structures in the Federal Secretariat, Obalende, where small offices were being carved out. So I was operating from my desk as a Protocol Officer then still doing my public relations job. As a matter of fact, it is still the same ministry, I was under the Personnel Department, Prof. Osuide took me to the late Dr. Saidu Mohammed who was the Director of Personnel in the Federal Ministry of Health. And he said ‘Prof, what do you want?’ And he said ‘do you know this young man?’ Dr. Saidu was laughing he said ‘he is my staff in the personnel department.’ ‘What do you want Prof?’ He said ‘I want this young man. Can we convert him?’ Because it is still within the same ministry.

THE blue ocean water crashed on the sandy shore splashing white foam all over. Enthusiastic revelers rush to and fro in pursuit of fun and trying to catch receding waves, only to rush back again as new waves made its ways to the shores.

This was Suntan Beach. Some people were in the corn-shaped huts, watching and enjoying the sight and sound of the ocean. The breeze from the ocean was therapeutic. Members of the O’odua People’s Congress (OPC) were in celebratory mood as they have gathered at the resort to honour the goddess of the sea, Olokun.

The annual Olokun Festival has become the most consistent non-government sponsored festival.  The festival, like wine, seems to be getting better with every passing edition.

There was music blaring from speakers placed at strategic places to get maximum effect.

Different traditional cultural groups took turns to come and perform to the satisfaction of the OPC and visitors who had camped at Badagry for two days to witness the grand finale of the almost month-long annual event.

The Olokun Festival is the most important cultural event in the Badagry area of Lagos in terms of the  number of attendees.

Badagry hosts the grand finale annually. It  started  October 2 with other events like the traditional games, a gala night and a beauty pageant.

The event has become  important in the cultural calendar of the West Coast that more than 30 traditional rulers from Benin, Ghana and Nigeria came either in person or were represented. The Alaafin of Oyo, Oba Lamidi Adeyemi, and the Ooni of Ife, Oba Okunade Sijuade, sent representatives.

The Lagos State Governor was represented by the state Commissioner for Tourism and Inter-governmental Relations, Mr. Disun Holloway. Fashola, in his speech, commended the efforts of the Olokun Foundation for its consistency in organising the annual festival. He said the festival had contributed immensely to the promotion of the culture of Yoruba, urging the promoter and national co-ordinator of the OPC, Otunba Gani Adams, to keep up the good work. He informed guests  that plans are in advance stage to hold a cultural festival that would involve all the states in the South West. The governor said it was part of the plans by states in the South West to promote the culture of the people.

In his speech, Otunba Adams said this year’s festival was unique in many areas. He said: “This year’s festival is quite different because this year’s festival includes the Oloosa gala night, quiz competition and  beauty pageant.  We have to thank God for giving us the grace to go on. Taking everything into consideration, I think this year’s edition is better than those that we had organized before.”

The OPC leader also responded to the allegation that the festival was for the promotion of idolatory: “I will like to say that it is our heritage just like the Osun grove where the Osun Osogbo Festival is held as a UNESCO World Heritage Site. We are not promoting religion; we are celebrating and recognizing our heritage. This is our heritage. Before we came into this world, Olokun had been in existence.

“We learn from history that all the world was covered by water before God created land. So it is our heritage. If we want to talk about religion, the gods were created by the Almighty God. He created both the living and non-living things. So, when you are talking about gods, there is a God in heaven and gods on earth, but different tribes have the ways they call them.

“In Yoruba land, we call them irumole lode aye; in the Arabian world, they call them malaika and the Christians call them angels or spirits. If they want to denigrate the spirits in the black race, they call  evil spirits. So, I think it is time for us to educate ourselves on the importance of what God has given to us.

“How can any reasonable person say this ocean is an evil spirit?  This is the place we take all what we have. All the things we bring from abroad, we bring them in through the ocean. We take fish and seafood from it, and at the end of the day, we are celebrating Olokun here and someone who has been a religious fanatic, who I will call a religion illiterate, will say we are celebrating idol. Idol comes from the German language.

“Nobody is referring to Olokun as his God; we call it the creation of the Almighty God. We know the Almighty God is the Supreme Being, Eledumare, Olorunwa is the Almighty God. Before  the creation of human beings, God had already created them and they have different departments.

“Olokun is in charge of water. We have the spirit that is in charge of light; the spirit that is in charge of air and the spirit that is in charge of land.But because of modern religion, they started denigrating the traditional religion, our heritage, to the extent that they did not encourage their followers to wear Yoruba attire, even most of the men of God do not preach with Yoruba. Where are we going?

“There is a missing link within our system. That is why horrible things are happening, that is why in the spiritual realms, they are producing wrong leaders for us in the physical because we have gone against those spirits.”

Adams also responded to the Lagos State government’s pledge to promote the Yoruba culture through festivals.

“It is a welcome development. The Commissioner for Tourism and I have interacted a lot. We discussed and I realized that he is someone that is deep about our traditional religion. I even asked that the spiritual angle should be inculcated into the programme. What we are doing now is to project the importance of culture so that the antagonists of our heritage  will understand us better.

“This is a programme that started on October 2. It is a 20-day event. It is a long programme that has cost us nothing less than 27 million . I want to use this opportunity to thank the Governor of Lagos State, Mr. Raji Fashola, for even sending him to represent Lagos State,”Adams said.

The Olokun Festival Foundation has proved that it has mastered the art of festival organization.  However, as cultural tourism product, the content should be enriched in terms of spectacle so that people from all works of life will mark the date in their calendar and attend in larger number.

Born into a wealthy background, the home of a textile merchant mother and a father who was into real estate, Princess Folashade Oba grew into a blend of royalty, wealth and class. Happily married with children to ex-Ben TV, London Director and social analyst, Prince Gbola Oba, Princess Folashade Oba is an epitome of beauty and brawn.
A real estate and brokerage expert, Princess Folashade Oba returned to Nigeria in 2006 after 20 years abroad. She founded Pacific Capital Ltd, a leading real and estate and brokerage firm in Lagos and annex in London. She established an NGO ‘Shelter of Grace Foundation’ (SGF) through which she did a lot of philanthropic activities benefitting thousands in the Ikorodu axis of Lagos.
Princess Oba believes that a woman is her husband’s best asset. She spoke to PAUL UKPABIO.

YOU had a life here before you travelled abroad. Tell us what life was like here, before you went abroad to stay

I was born in Lagos Island and I had my primary education in Offa, Kwara State. Being the first child, my father had the premonition that my mother would kind of spoil me. Hence, the need for a distant learning. He felt that my mum would spoil me pretty much; so he put me in the boarding house and from there, I went to the Federal Government Girls’ College, Owerri, in Imo State. From there again, I moved to the United Kingdom where I went to study Business Administration and Marketing at the American College in London and after that, I came back to Nigeria.

Oh you didn’t stay too long abroad?

(Laughed) At that time, I returned only briefly. My mother, who was a textile merchant, and my father too wanted me to stay here and do new stuff. Unfortunately, my father is now late but my mother is still much around with us. She is Alhaja Atinuke Atobajaiye, she is the Iya Suna of Nigeria. She is actually a Muslim cleric and I thank God for having come through such a wonderful mother and teacher and disciplinarian. She is very strict and she won’t compromise integrity and honesty, that is what she raised me upon and she will always say ‘Oruko rere o san ju wura ati fadaka lo’ (A good name is better than gold and diamond); that in all things, you must keep a good name. She had me late and she will always want me to make up for the lateness because it was everything worth waiting for. So, I had other siblings.

How big is the family?

We are a family of six, four children of two boys and two girls. I have my younger sister who is still in the US and a brother also. I have another brother, who just came back to the country and after my business and marketing education at the American College, London. I had a little stint with insurance. I worked with Prime American Insurance in USA and it was from there I attended my first real estate seminar and in the United States of America, I was a real estate person and equally a mortgage broker. I am a developer because that is what I met with my mum, even though she had done the textile business for a longer time.

She later diverted into real estate and she was a major influence in my decision to go into real estate when I came back to Nigeria. She usually told me then that, ‘you cannot have accident with brick and mortar’. She will say in Yoruba “Ogiri o kin jam”. It took me little time to catch up on that because entrepreneurially, I wanted to do mortgage but today, I think my reason for going into different fields that I have been through in life is borne out of trying to give my best and equally learning a lot in that process, and knowing the diversity of people, ideas and idiosyncrasies.

I remember my boss in the United States saying to me: ‘Money will come automatically when you learn to be a solution provider’, when you learn to add value to people’s lives, money comes automatically.

When you returned to Nigeria, was it easy for you to adapt to the environment?

Coming down to Nigeria was a bit tough, the terrain wasn’t the same. I found it difficult. Though I refused to change my decision. That is me and I can say that the first few years were tough. But I just thank God I stuck to it. I also thank God for the people that gave me the opportunity; I say thank you because I think it was a divine mix of luck.

Which year did you return to Nigeria?

I made my first trip down to Nigeria in 2006 and 2007 was the year I went into politics. That was just time to learn the ropes. I was a volunteer and a supporter. In 2010, I found myself back in politics again. At that time, I had set up my office, that is Pacific Capital Ltd, which is a property and real estate concern. I went into insurance and we also had the travels and tours concern.

For me, politics was also an avenue to influence my Christian ministry because I have been an ordained minister of the Redeemed Church right from the United States of America. So, coming down to Nigeria, I still went back to the Bible school to add more to my knowledge. I believe the unseen controls the seen and so I needed something to help me out with the wisdom to deal with the day-to-day events of life and it was just a tremendous experience.

You are a stylish person, what does style mean to you?

I just like to be unique. I don’t like to blow my props out of proportion, but I have an eye for beauty and excellence. I like to look good. My former boss in the US will say ‘you must dress like it is the best day of your life’. The way you dress is the way you will be addressed. So, you must be simple and make people easy to want to relate with you.

What is your best fashion accessory?

I love suits. I have always been a suit person right from time; although being in Nigeria has changed me a bit because I now find myself doing the Iro and Buba thing because of the socials. But on a normal day, I am a blouse and suit person.

Which fashion accessory would you never allow the camera man to catch you putting on?

(Laughs heartily) Hot pants! (More laughter) When I was much younger, you could catch me in that. But now, I have given my life to Christ. I cannot afford to flaunt it around. I do not do a bikini show, no not anymore. Definitely, you won’t catch me doing that.

How does a day start for you?

My day starts very early. Most times I am up by 4 am; I do my morning devotion, then take care of everybody like setting my children out for school, prepare myself for the appointments of the day and really, I try to get myself out of the house at 7am. On Sundays, I really want to be in the presence of the Lord. But pretty much, I crave for Christmas Day and New Year Day to have my off days. Those days and Easter Day are luxury days for me. But again, working is a way of life for me. I am not usually comfortable sitting around doing nothing.

So growing up, what were the New Year Day and Christmas Day like for you?

Oh, beautiful, so beautiful! Those were the good old days when we would dress up to go to Kingsway Stores and UTC, and you buy all the newbies and Christmas Day was indeed Christmas Day. You are all decked up and there is show off in the church and everyone looked at you with a glowing awe. I grew up in Lagos Island and it is not what it is today.

My childhood memories are great; anytime I remember my childhood days, I have so much joy in my heart. Good, good, beautiful memories. Well, no regret, I still think the best is yet to come. It is just a season; so, I look forward to more wonderful days ahead.

What did you aspire to be in terms of profession and ambition as a child?

One thing I wanted to do was to be a lawyer. I dreamt of being a lawyer as a young girl but I think I graduated very early and my mother wasn’t sure she wanted me in the university at 14.  So, she forced me to go and do A-levels. That kind of got me off track and I ended up doing Business Administration. And so, the dream will still be to go back to Law School. Definitely, I will go back to read Law when I am able to; it is just to satisfy that intellectual urge in me.

What do you think is the secret of a successful marriage?

Simple, the secret is to be the change you want to see in the world. Be an asset to whoever is bold enough to invest their lives in you. Let it be like it is the best decision they ever made in their lives because that is what it is all about. You must complement your spouse. But not waiting on them to give you happiness, you must build that happiness within you and because what is within is what you bring out.

So, in seeking the God-given spouse that you are looking for, make sure you are also an asset and be very patient. I mean, for me, I wish I had a senior sister that said these same things to me some years ago. So, I had to learn the hard way. But all in all, I am happy. So, for young spinsters going into marriage, be the best. Don’t assume and jump into conclusion. Your communication with your spouse must be handled on 90% and even though when it is hard, a family that prays together stays together. Make sure you are that locked down because the unseen controls the seen. So, you must trust God in all ramifications.

And what about your hobbies?

I dance and play table tennis.

Which country is your best holiday or tourist destination?

South of France, that is Nice, even though I don’t speak French but I think I love the South of France. I love Paris; it is a lovers’ city. You know I am a sucker for love, so everything around Paris encapsulates love and romance. And because I am a sucker for love, I don’t joke with my trip to Paris or France.

The drums of politics continue to echo for you. How did politics start for you because you are from a royal home and one will wonder why you jettisoned all the comforts for the murky waters of politics?

For me, it started about eight years ago, having lived out of the country for over 20 years, I found myself in Nigeria. Politics became a rare passion that engulfed me. I can’t explain it but the joy I feel each time I come back home was truly awesome and you know people will laugh and ask ‘oh, what gets you so excited about Africa and about Nigeria?’ and I just say ‘I can’t explain it’ because there is nothing compared to it; and I came back and looked around and truly things had changed a bit but I felt there was more that could be done and rather than wait and say ‘oh, the government is bad or whatever,’ I just asked ‘how can I add my own to complement, especially in Lagos State, the good governance that we have already achieved.

So, I had to make up my mind on how to go about it. Spiritually I prayed and because I was new to the environment, I made enquiries about which party, which leader do I subscribe to his philosophy and leadership beliefs? I did a lot of study and research and as at that time, it was Senator Bola Ahmed Tinubu that came to mind. He was the man with those requisite political benefits. For me, directly or indirectly, I have been blessed by his leadership and I have a role model in his wife, Senator Oluremi Tinubu. You know, to be in the public glare 24/7 and serve people does not come cheap. There is a saying that we do say in America that ‘you take the leaking and keep on taking it’ but you must never stop to take it because that is what makes you.

If you look at him (Asiwaju Tinubu), I am sure he barely has less than two hours per day to sleep. And it was addictive for me; I have been studying him and I find myself going to the party headquarters and just telling them ‘I just want to volunteer’. Don’t pay me but let me learn the ropes here and really, the more I followed them round on the field, the more I learnt; I also played many parts and in doing that, I became ingrained in the politics of development and till date, I am still teachable.

But I think I am just glad for such a wonderful access. I am just glad and everyday now like we all know, change is constant. It is one thing we must live with but positive change is what matters most. It is what we must all demand for and right now, the story of Lagos is unique and what is demanded of us is to continue the peace, love and stability.

So, how does the two merge together, I mean being a spiritual leader and equally being a political leader?

I think the basic atom is the love of others first. It is not easy to give out your heart and love to people and help nurture them up in their daily life. In the ministry, you know that Christ gave His all; so, as a disciple, you also want to emulate to be Christ-like and that is the only connecting line to politics, you must have a vision that transcends ordinary life, a vision of love which without you cannot offer God’s command. For me, my Christian life helped me to be a better person in politics because I was able to connect what I call the ‘Jesus principle’, which is a principle of accommodation. In politics, you must tolerate and accommodate in order to love.

In Lagos State, Ikorodu has continued to gain attention. Are you proud to have emerged from Ikorodu?

Ikorodu is pretty much my home and because it is my home, I am very passionate about the people of Ikorodu and I equally felt that in order to be different, you’ve got to go out of your way to be a bit outstanding. I have been blessed to have emerged from Ikorodu. I am resolute. One of the things about life is that we must make sure we leave it better than we met it. Successive generations must be able to know that their fore-fathers or forerunners were there just like we are enjoying the grace of democracy today because of the leaders that stood out in their own time to make things happen. They took the pain and like they say ‘no pain, no gain’. So, we all must put our quota to make democracy work for all.

What is your philosophy of life?

Be the best; be all that you can and don’t be defined by others. Define yourself and do what is good that you want to do.

Who is your role model?

I have not just a role model, it is actually a conglomerate of people who influence my opinion whether I met them alive or I read about them in books. But one or two things that I pick up across the board in any which way is to never give up the tenacity to be extra ordinary and the honesty and integrity that people who need to count on you must be able to count on you. First, Senator Ahmed Bola Tinubu and his wife, Senator Oluremi Tinubu, are rare breeds because of their indefatigable commitment to politics and leadership.

Senator Tinubu is known for his indefatigable, astute leadership, his doggedness in the face of all challenges. I think he is just one political leader with an awesome spirit. Then, the wife, I look at her and I conclude that she truly must be God-sent to him because without a woman like that, he probably won’t have it that easy. She is very tolerant and very strong-willed as well.

I think she is the engine house of the husband because it is a big sacrifice to be the wife of such a giant-spirited individual because she sees larger than just her immediate family. She extends a lot to the nation now, understanding that her husband is a national leader. I think that takes a lot of grace.  On the religious side, it is Mummy and Daddy G.O of the Redeemed Christian Church of God and, for me, it can only be divine, if you look at what they have done in the ministry.

There is more to Capt. Shehu Usman Iyal than his official designation as Senior Special Assistant to the President on Aviation. Iyal is a major player in a sector that is critical to the Transformation Agenda of President Goodluck Jonathan. In this interview with a select group of reporters in Abuja, he stresses that every aspect of the aviation sector in Nigeria is already within global standard range. Deputy Editor, YOMI ODUNUGA and Correspondents, AUSTINE EHIKIOYA and FAITH YAHAYA, were there. Excerpts:

For some reasons, the Aviation sector has been in the news in recent times mostly for the wrong reasons. What really is there to celebrate in such a sector?

First, let me say that every aspect of human endeavours is bound to face some challenges at one point or the other. In that wise, the Nigerian Aviation sector is not an exception. Having said that, let me, as a form of general introduction, highlight the positive impact and achievements made under the tenure of His Excellency, President Goodluck Jonathan, in the last six years.  We all know that aviation is a very special vehicle for attracting and sustaining investments in every part of the world. If we look at the United Arab Emirates and some other countries, these countries have fully maximised the derivable benefits from that sector to get to where they are today. In Nigeria today, we should be proud of what we have and the improvements made in that sector. For example, we have just sustained and retained our Category One status which we got from the Federal Aviation Administration of United States of America. We got it in 2010 and, just last month, we were able to retain that status. It would interest you to know that India, which is one of the top 10 economies in the world, just lost its own Category One status but Nigeria is able to retain its own.

As Nigerians, we should also make conscious effort to celebrate our own citizens who get international recognition through a dint of hard work. One of such is Dr. Olumuyiwa Aliu who is the first African to be elected as President of the International Civil Aviation Organisation (ICAO) Council. The position really puts us at the top position in the world. Nigeria, today, boasts of the total radar coverage of the entire country called TRACON. Although, the project started some years ago but the completion of the TRACON by the Nigerian Airspace Management Agency (NAMA) was realised under the leadership of Jonathan.

What this means is that, anywhere within the Nigerian airspace, we are able to track any aeroplane that is flying in or out of the airspace of Nigeria. On the Category One attainment, when the Americans give you, they don’t go to sleep, they keep on coming to audit you, examine and monitor you. We were able to attain it during Jonathan’s administration and retain it.

There is also an improvement of oversight capability because NCAA as it is called is the regulator, it is the policeman of the aviation industry, it tells you what to do, it monitors , corrects. So, it is the duty of NCAA to make sure that we are compliant and we do as we are expected to do by ICAO standard practice. So, the NCAA was able to promulgate the Nigeria Civil Aviation Regulation 1 and 2 and it met the ICAO standard, we call it NCAR 1 and 2 and it has been passed into law.

Beyond these technical details, what exactly has the government done in other aspects to make flying a comfortable experience for Nigerians and others? For example, how conducive are our airports and can we say the passengers get satisfaction for their money?

As far as this administration is concerned, safety is key and safety is everything. That is why no single aspect of the aviation sector should be ignored. Take, for example, the role the Aviation sector played in the fight against Ebola. Today, the World Health Organisation (WHO) has declared Nigeria Ebola-free and one shouldn’t underestimate the role played by the sector. Officials of the relevant agencies still play the role of monitoring movements of passengers till now. I was in Lagos some days ago and I was checked in about four or five places before I boarded my flight, I think we should commend ourselves that we were able to achieve something that even the United States of America has started copying. The same thing is done in London Heathrow. This administration has also been able to effect changes for those who are in the domestic operation. The issue of waivers for airline operators of custom duties on aeroplanes and aeroplanes spare parts. I think that has gone a long way in making the operators a bit more comfortable.

As part of the administration’s desire to change the aesthetics of the airports and bring them up to the international standards, it embarked on a comprehensive remodelling of our airports and the conception of new airports. We can see the visible impact of this as we travel across the country from Lagos to Enugu, Port Harcourt, Kano and other states. In the last six years, there has been an appreciable increase in the number of airlines flying into the country. There is also an increment in the number of domestic operators. We have Azman, Discovery, First Nation, Medview and Peace Airlines, which just got their AoC; I think that is something we should be proud of as Nigerians and it has made life much easier for us. Under this same administration, we have new airports in Akwa Ibom, Dutse, Kebbi, Bauchi, Asaba, Gombe and a few other states.

But there are airports that are yet to benefit from this remodelling initiative of the administration. Why is there any ulterior motive for this?

No, no one should read any ulterior or political meaning to that initiative aimed at repositioning all the airports in the country. Let me also say that the remodelling of airports is a continuous process. As I talk to you now, the Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria (FAAN) is remodelling the airports in Abuja, Lagos, Benin, Yola, Owerri, Enugu, Jos, Kaduna and Port Harcourt. Again, in this period of insecurity in the world, the government of President Jonathan has also given a lot of attention to the safety of travellers by installing modern equipment for the screening of passengers. The government, through the relevant agencies, installed body scanners at the airports in addition to passengers and staff profiling. There is also the construction of new terminals in states like Lagos, Abuja, Port Harcourt, Kano and Enugu. FAAN has also taken over newly constructed airports that were previously owned by the states. For example, Gombe is an international airport and it is able to do Hajj flight.

Presently, we are able to airlift Nigerian pilgrims from Dutse in Jigawa, from Bauchi state, from Kebbi state and Enugu which has been upgraded to an international airport. With this development, the stress and hustle we used to face in taking and bringing pilgrims in and out of the holy land is over because we now have more carriers and also carriers with capacity and our carriers are being sought for all over the world to do additional flights in West Africa. MaxAir, Kabo, Medview and they all have what we call white bodied aircraft; white bodied aircraft means any airplane that can carry more than 300 passengers and we have them and even in excess capacity. All the opportunities that we are enjoying now were made possible within the last six years of Jonathan’s administration. Already, we have brought quite a number of our pilgrims contrary to what we used to do before.

There is also the infrastructural rehabilitation of the airports. We have the perimeter fencing in Lagos, Abuja, and Kano and the resurfacing of the runway. There was a little bit of discomfort some few months ago when we were resurfacing Abuja airport but it is better to be safe to land than to have a runway that has potholes that can affect the aeroplanes. FAAN, I must note, has gone beyond just infrastructure maintenance or rehabilitation. Under this administration, it has procured a lot of fire fighting equipment while also embarking on the training and retraining of personnel that can handle the equipment. There is also an establishment in FAAN called the Safety Audit Department, which looks into all these things to make sure that they are compliant with the International Civil Aviation (ICAO) standard.

Has the government taken any concrete step to ensure discipline in that sector, especially by the staff of all the agencies?

Aside the statutory responsibilities of the Safety Audit Department, there is what I can call a ministerial intervention. The latest of such is the directive by the Hon. Minister, Osita Chidoka, a dynamic young man with a lot of vision, that, henceforth, every airport manager will be held responsible for the happenings, activities, improvement and anything that happens within his airport. I think this will certainly improve performance and accountability and at the end of the day, Nigerians and indeed the travelling public will be the beneficiaries of this.

Some critics have said that the Aviation Intervention Fund disbursed by this administration did not yield the expected results, as most airlines that collected the money did not utilise it well. What can you say about this?

I do not believe that is true. Let us look at the bigger picture instead of dwelling on one or two beneficiaries that misapplied the funds. Of course, the relevant agencies are looking into the application of the fund by the concerned airlines. What I know is that, that fund yielded results as most of those that applied for it did make good use of it. Most of the airlines are still flying today due to that fund which came at the right time. In all, a total of N87billion was disbursed under the administration of President Goodluck Jonathan to the various airlines. The fund was disbursed at a generous rate of between two per cent to seven per cent as against the 18 per cent to 20 per cent that was the going market rate at that time. There was also a moratorium of six months with extended repayment term of between 10 and 15 years. You should also note that it was unprecedented in the history of the sector that some of the airlines were granted a working capital of between N500million and N1billion, which represents 20 per cent of their previous year’s turnover. We should be able to commend the President for this decision as it helped in stabilising the sector.

Do you think the nation is lagging behind in harnessing of cargo potentials?

Not really. The administration is rising up to that challenge. We are now constructing agriculture and cargo terminals whereby the products of the farmers can be easily moved to where they are going to be sold.  These airports are being constructed in Lagos, Makurdi and Jos and some of them have reached very advanced stages of completion, which is a very good thing for the agricultural sector. It will also boost the creation of jobs for Nigerian farmers and other people associated with it.

Could you tell us what the Nigerian Airspace Management Agency brings to the table in the transformation going on in the sector?

Currently, NAMA has the automated Aeronautical Information System (AIS) and it has also complied with WGS84; it is a satellite-based navigation. With this, there will be efficiency, safety and it reduces cost for the operators. We also have brand new Control Towers, which were also called the Safe Tower Project and here, we have the automatic data recording to capture communications between the tower and the aeroplane and also, if there is low level wind shear, it can be detected and the control tower can advise the pilot to avert eventualities. I am saying all these because if we don’t blow our trumpet, somebody will not only blow his own, but he will also take away our trumpet just to blow his own. The air traffic management of NAMA is as good as anywhere in the world because it is of international standard. Some six months ago or so, I was in Cairo, Egypt and they have what they call training school where people from all over the world are undergoing training and the Egypt Air people were kind enough to take me to the school to see some Nigerians. There were about 15 to 20 Nigerians and the three best students they had in that class were from Nigeria and that is why I said there is an aggressive manpower development.

Again, we are part of the world and we are able to introduce what is called Standard Instrument Departure and Standard Terminal Arrival that goes to improve the safety and efficiency. We also have Nigeria Meteorological Services (NIMET) and they do the installation of the low level wind shear and land system. NIMET received certification as aeronautical meteorological service provider and got its International Standard Organisation ISO9001 by an ICAO accredited auditor. The construction of the National Weather Forecast Centre and research centre in Abuja is going on. Part of it is functional and we have highly improved weather forecast and prediction by the agency. In March this year, they did weather prediction and to a reasonable extent, their predictions and forecast were helpful to us and their service is not only for the aviation industry but also to the farmers, marine industry but their main attachment is aeronautical. They are also doing aggressive training for Nigerians.

The Nigeria College of Aviation Technology (NCAT), which most of us are products of; today unlike what it used to be some years ago when it was moribund and almost dead, has been totally rehabilitated and overhauled. Today, the school has two helicopters and it is commencing training in helicopter pilot; with this, we will be able to create more jobs, we will be able to do more things at home and we will save money that we would have used to send our people outside to do the training. They have introduced the HND programme. When you pass out, you will have a Higher National Diploma (HND) and that will go a long way in case you decide not to even go into the field, if you want to go into the academics, it will help. They train pilots, engineers and air traffic controllers, cabin crew and dispatchers, aviation managers, airline transport license; I think we are starting that of aeronautical information officers. Additionally, under the presidential youth development programme, the office of the Special Adviser to the President on Niger Delta, Honourable Kingsley Kuku, has trained 66 pilots and 61 engineers. Some of the pilots have undergone Advanced Commercial Pilot Training on instrumental flying and already employed, while others are at various stages of advanced training. Most of the engineers are rated on engine and frames and have equally been gainfully employed.

The Nigerian Air Force, in collaboration with private investors, has also under the present regime initiated and set up a pilot training school in Enugu for both civil and military helicopter pilots. There is also another flying school in Ilorin, Kwara State, that is equally graduating pilots and all these were achieved within the past six years of this regime. So, you can see that President Jonathan has provided all the support and enablement to transform the sector for good. Also, the Accident Investigation Bureau (AIB) has, for the first time under the watch of President Jonathan, released its findings to the public so that we all will know what happens and why it happened. AIB has a simulator in Abuja that is able to process, download and analyse flight data recorders; so, that saves time and money. They are also able to proactively simulate what would have been an accident or a very serious incident and we all know how aviation accidents can be. In summary, I make bold to say that, in the last six years, the aviation industry under the guide of President Jonathan has moved very positively. We have attained a status that is world standard and that we need to be proud of. We are in a position today to beat our chest as Nigerians to say yes; we are getting there.

What is keeping the Federal Government from announcing the national carrier for the country or have they decided not to embark on having it again?

On the national carrier, the minister spoke about it and I think he is taking it very seriously. He is in the best position to shed light on the national carrier.

Can you update us on the second runway in our airport?

The President has approved and directed the second runway project to be immediately revisited. It is being revisited and I am proud to inform you that I am part of the committee on the second runway and it is going to be treated as a priority. There will be a second runway in Abuja for safety, for security and efficiency. When a president gives an order, it shows that it is very soon and we are working on it. I can assure you of the commitment of the President on that project.

On the surface, Mrs. Gladys M seems to have it all. She has a good job in a managerial position in a top company which comes with a fat pay cheque and other perks of the job. She has all the comfort money can buy and even more. But there’s something missing in her life that no amount of money can buy for her and that is time, especially time with her two children and husband.

Gladys is one of those Lagosians whose nature and location of workplace have turned them into ‘nocturnal workers, who move around only at night’. With her office located on Victoria Island, Lagos, the lady leaves home by 4.30am every working day and returns home between 11:30pm and midnight, “depending on the traffic,” as she pointed out. “During the week, I’m like a single woman because I hardly see my family. The children are asleep when I leave for work and already sleeping on my return at night. As for my husband, he’s on his own! At weekends, I sleep nearly throughout Saturday and half of Sunday. It’s the two maids we have who are practically raising our children as my husband works too and his job makes him travel a lot,” she stated.

Besides doing all the domestic chores in the house, the maids also drop the children, aged eight and six years old, at the private school they attend. “I only know they are at school when the maid who has dropped them calls to report that they have gone to school. I don’t even know their teachers as it’s their father who attends meetings at the school whenever they invite us for one. They have been at that school for their whole lives because I started dropping them at the crèche attached to the school when they were barely three months old.”

Mr.  Njoku  Obi,  a retired banker,  also shared his experience. He told The Nation that he was hooked to drinking coffee and chewing  gum to remain awake on a daily basis for close to 10 years that he travelled from Igando, a suburb of Alimosho Local Government Area of the State to Victoria Island.

“Working in Victoria Island and living in Igando, was a hell. The human in me was gone and I became more of a robot all through the years I travelled from my area to the Island. Imagine waking up by 4am and leaving home by 4:30am just to beat traffic.  After beating the traffic on the mainland, I always had that of the Island to contend with. After closing late in the evening, it  was equally horrifying going back home.

“At times, one ends up getting home around 11: 30 pm or midnight.  On a traffic-prone day, one might get home around 1:00am. When it so happened, I would only manage to sleep for three  hours before my alarm rings for me to start preparing for the day’s work.

“I was always groggy with sleep whenever I set out to drive to the office every morning. The same thing happens to other road users too, so it was common to see people hitting one another in traffic because they were dozing.  I was always had packs of coffee and chewing gum in my car that I always consumed while on the road and at work to remain awake. It was an inevitable addiction that was causing untold harm to my health.”

He lamented that he could not give good attention to his children all through the period. The situation, he said, was aggravated by the fact that the wife was also embarking on the same routine life.

“I was forced to prevail on her to resign her appointment because we had abandoned our parental responsibilities to our house helps and became total strangers to our children. It was a terrible thing because if the house helps had had some bad influences from outside, some unpalatable things could have happened to our children and that would have made all our struggles to be meaningless. I was also forced to resign thereafter because the stress was too much for me to bear,” he added.

Ibe, an employee of one of the  leading oil companies in the country, also recalled his travails shuttling from his residence on the mainland to his office in Lekki every day. After several years of enduring the pains, he was forced to relocate to the Island.

His words: “I used to live in the Isolo area of the Lagos mainland. Every working day, I would leave for work between 5:20am and 5:30am. The purpose was to beat the traffic and get to the office early. It always took us about two hours to get to the office, as we often got to the office  around 7:30am. This means we spent an average of two hours to get to the office. My office is at Lekki. Our normal closing hour is 4:30pm. In spite of that, I  wasn’t getting home  until between 8 and 9pm. Sometimes, it was worse. And you know, it was the same routine for many years.”

The situation, he said,  had direct effect on his work and his health. “Yes, of course, it does. I ended up arriving at the office tired and edgy. I often took  time to settle for the day’s work. You can be sure that in such situation, it affected my productivity.Let me tell you, there was no day that passed then that I did I not take pain reliever in the morning and evening. Besides, the stress was making my blood pressure to rise. It became absolutely unbearable.

“As time went on, I was tired and  had do something about it. That was the reason I ended up relocating to Lekki. And the difference was immediately obvious. Since I relocated,  It takes between 10 to 20 minutes to get to my office. I no longer have any need to be taking pain killers like before. My productivity, I am sure, has improved. Added to that, I am no longer as stressed as I used to be”.

Busari  Musiliu, a resident of Sango Ota, Ogun State, said he was constantly eating kolanut and taking energy drinks to keep awake as he shared his predicament going from his area to work in Victoria Island. After several years of going through the rigorous travelling, he resorted to squatting with a friend living close to his place of work.

“I would have died if I had continued to move from Sango Ota to Lagos Island every day.  There was a time that I fell seriously ill because I wasn’t resting well. The substances that I was taken had caused serious damage to my body.  I would wake up early in the morning and get back home very late in the night. By the I would be leaving the house my children would still be sleeping and by the time I would get home late in the night, they would have also gone to bed. I didn’t have any time for myself and always got angry and ever ready to sting like a bee because I was constantly stressed up.

“After recovering from the illness, I was attacked and dispossessed of my valuables by hoodlums when I was going to work early one morning. These experiences made me to begin to seek for a close place to my office where I could squat. Luckily for me, I got a colleague who offered to assist me. I leave home on Monday morning taking along a few personal effects for the week and go back home on Fridays to spend the weekend with my family.”

Day care, crèches to the rescue

Indeed, for busy career mothers and fathers, day care centres, crèche, nurseries and the like are a God-sent. For such parents without live-in relatives like grandmothers, aunties and cousins who can act as carers for the newborn, a crèche is the next viable alternative when the nursing mother has to resume work at the end of her maternity leave.

“After I gave birth, my mother came to spend some time with me. But she returned to the village three weeks later and I was alone with no helper. I had no choice but place my baby in a day care when I resumed work as I could not take him to work! He was just about two months old then. I felt bad about it but what could I do? It’s the bad economy that has made many women become their families’ breadwinners. In the past, our mothers and grandmothers  did not have to work in offices and other corporate environments. They worked mostly in the farms and they took their babies with them strapped to their backs. Today, society has changed. I can’t take my baby to my workplace as it’s a financial institution. It’s not allowed. Day care centres and crèches are the next alternative,” stated a mother of three who did not want her name in print.

These city women’s experiences are reflective of the realities of parenting and child rearing in a mega city like Lagos. For many busy parents striving to work hard and bring in enough money to meet the family’s needs, it’s a hard choice they have to make. “It’s a choice between working to make money to enable you live a particular lifestyle or staying home to care for the children and living in penury,” stated Gladys.

In many cases, child rearing and family life take the back seat, while the pursuit of money wins.

To fill in the gap are nannies, house maids, crèches, play and nursery schools who now act as ‘surrogate mothers’ to the children. While the parents are busy at work, these carers feed, clothe, change nappies, rock them to sleep, soothe them when they cry, play with them and generally perform the functions which mothers, by their natural dispensation, are supposed to play.

Our reporter met with one of such carers, Lydia Solomon, at a crèche at Ikeja who spoke on the onerous tasks of caring for other people’s children. The lady, who has been working there for four years, disclosed that the crèche opens for business as early as 5am to receive the children. “These working mothers sometimes leave home as early as 4 am. Many work in offices in Marina, Victoria Island, Lekki, Ajah or even Epe.” For the return journey home from work, Solomon stated that, “It all depends on the work schedule of each working mother. Some return to pick their children at 5pm, some at 8pm, some at 10pm while for others, we have to take them to their homes at 11pm.”

Being separated from their mothers from such early ages can be traumatic for the children as she stated: “If the children had just started coming to the crèche, they feel bad. Some react by crying or clutching to their mother’s arms or body. But after a while, they get used to being dropped with us. It’s especially bad for breast-feeding babies. For such children, when it is their breast-feeding time, they cry and cry and there is nothing we can use to pacify them. They just keep wailing until the time passes. In such a situation, we have to keep petting them until they cry and sleep. When they wake, we continue the petting and after a while, they start playing.”

One challenge most of these carers have is the lateness of parents in picking their children in the evenings. On this, Sarah David, a carer at a nursery at Apapa, noted: “Most parents don’t keep to time, they come late to pick their children. This is because they know the nanny is competent and capable and they feel their baby is safe with her, so they are relaxed. The last baby most times leaves my place very late like 9pm or 10pm. I’m not really impressed with  parents that pick their children at such odd hours; at least 6 pm in the evening is okay.”

Separated too young

To David, being separated from their parents so young does not portend well for the emotional well-being of the children which could lead to problems for them in the future.

“The parents should allow love to flow between them and should have the conscience that, ‘my child is somewhere and I need to see him.’ When parents come late, the baby is already asleep, so what time do you have to spend or have love to share with the child? And very early the next day, you bring the child back to the day care.”

Speaking on the issue and the challenges of caring for the children, Joy Udeh, another carer at a day care in Lagos, stated: “Some parents come late to pick their children. We drop our phone number because when it’s too late, we close so they have to come down to our own house to pick them. We work every day except Sunday. A dirty person who finds things irritating or is wicked and heartless cannot do this type of job.

“It is very difficult to take care of the children and never easy because at times they cry, disturb, mess up the place. As a person doing this, you have to be very patient. Even when you want to get angry, you hold yourself back. I take them as my own children, put them on my back, teach them things like poems and do things that make them happy.

”Some parents are naturally lazy and it has become a habit that whenever they have a baby, they enrol them in care centers. We start taking in babies from two months old.”

Not all parents like the idea of leaving their children in day care centres and crèches. Mrs Ene Osekhe, an Apapa, Lagos resident frowns at it, declaring: “I can’t keep my child in a day care center. Some people choose their job over their children. I love my child and I can’t leave him for anybody. That is why I decided to engage in business instead of working in a company. It takes the grace of God to care for children.”

Due to the long hours these children stay apart from their parents, with time they begin to see their carers as their ‘real’ mothers, as Solomon noted: “Well, babies who are still breast-feeding still recognise their mothers. That is because, once the mother puts her breast in his mouth, the child sees the mother and the sense of identity is there. But for others who have stopped breast-feeding, they are more attached to us than their mothers. There are some who even do not want to go home in the evening. We have to keep shouting, ‘your mother is here, or your dad is here.’  Some of them after a while start calling us mommy. This has happened many times.”

To experts, such early separation between a parent and child, the period when the most bonding should take place between them could have incalculable emotional and psychological damages on the child.

Psychologists speak on the consequences

Dr Leonard Okonkwo is a psychologist and he has this to say on the matter: “In as much as it is sometimes avoidable for parents to drop their kids with other people and go to work because they have to make ends meet, most of the time, it doesn’t augur well for the children. This is because it denies the parents and children or rather it discourages the necessary bonding that a child needs as he or she grows up. It is generally believed that a child’s personality grows as the age rises.

“So all that happens to a child at that early age is very important. So when you leave a child of that early age at the mercy of day care, people who are usually two or three with so many children to care about, that necessary bonding becomes missing. And then when you have such deficiency in the bonding, other issues could develop later on that can affect the child eventually as the child grows up.

“Of course there are health issues too. When a child does not develop the way he or she ought to develop, the child can develop some level of insecurity, which can be carried on to later in life. When you have so many children to take care of, it is certain that you cannot give everyone of them adequate attention. That is the problem that is likely to be seen in a day care. And that leaves the children with a sense of insecurity and anxiety, which may manifest much later in life. It could even lead the children to a mind situation, where they find it hard to trust people later in life.

“That is the reason we should commend the Lagos State government for elongating the maternity leave. It is important. Nursing mothers need time with their children. They need to wean their children.”

He blamed the situation on the bad economy and the level of poverty in the society. “If people were to be gainfully employed and not go far from home, some of these problems can be avoided. In a situation where you have two parents in a home and one can adequately sustain the family with his income, there will be no reason for the wife to be rushing out to work from home every day.

“On the other hand, it is difficult to say that both parents should not work because there are challenges. They have to pay house rent, pay school fees, and then feed and protect their children. So it is difficult to determine for parents how or what they should do or not do in earning income, more so when it is not illegal. But as much as possible, there should be a lot of balance. No matter the job parents are doing, they should as much as possible have time for the children.”

To Dr Tony Okeregbe of the University of Lagos, the effects of such early separation can be far reaching, affecting the child till adulthood and the society as well. “Definitely, being brought up by nannies, maids and other carers besides the parents can affect children’s socialisation. The family is the primary and first social unit; it’s the way you nurture the family that will affect the society as a whole. These days, many parents abandon their parental responsibilities and the upbringing of their children to nannies, maids and schools while they chase after money.

“Can you believe that some even forget to pick their children from school like a case we had some time ago? Because of craving for material wealth and striving for survival, they don’t find the time to be with the children, to train or inculcate proper values in them, teach them real values of life. They believe money is everything and is the solution to all problems. These children will now be at the whims and caprices of society, to the outside world and whichever dominates wins. This is the reason for such anti-social behaviours like drug taking, cultism, prostitution, crime and other antisocial activities,” he stated.

He advised parents to make the necessary sacrifice to spend time and train their children themselves instead of leaving the responsibility to others. “Their primary assignment as parents is the children and the family. Maids should not bring up children, it’s not their job. It’s the parents’ duty. If you know you won’t have time and rather focus on your career, then don’t have a family. It’s not by force!” he said.

Continuing, he added: “As a course adviser in this school, I see students at 17/18 years old who are still like babies. They are not well trained or know anything about life. There are some of these young people who, due to bad experiences with maids, have been affected psychologically. They find it difficult to develop associations and relationships with people because they were violated and abused as children by the maids. We have one like that here. She has a very negative view of relationships because she did not have parental care; the care came from the maid who exposed her to things she should not have as a child.

“Today, she finds it difficult to trust people. There were boys who were exposed to sex at a very young age and grew up having warped views about sexual life and relationships. So the effect of all these can be devastating on the children and the society generally.”

Perhaps, it’s in a bid to avert such scenarios that have led some working mothers to leave their jobs and stay home with the children.

Said Solomon: “Yes, there have been such cases. But for a working mother who is already used to going to work, resigning to come to sit at home, could be a trauma too. So it is better that she still finds some kind of work to do around her or which will enable her to also look after the baby. But the truth is, not many female city dwellers nowadays can really take care of babies and little children. Most of them depend on crèche or pre-school, even when they are not working mothers.

“However, there are women who have resigned because of their children. A case in mind is a child who used to be regularly sick at the crèche. The husband had to tell the wife to resign to come home and look after the child.

“There was also a case of a family who used to return late from work. The husband gets home at 8pm, while the wife gets home at about 11pm. The arrangement was that I bring the child home at few minutes to 11pm. Sometimes I get there, the woman is not back, when I wait, the husband will be unusually friendly with me. So, I stopped going there but they were not happy. They begged me to continue. But I couldn’t because I didn’t want to break their home.”

Legendary fashion designer, Oscar de la Renta, whose intricate and over-the-top gowns were for years a fixture of the social and political establishment, died on Monday. He was 82.De la Renta died surrounded by family, friends and “more than a few dogs,” according to a handwritten statement signed by his stepdaughter, Eliza Reed Bolen, and her husband, Alex Bolen, and given to The Associated Press. The statement did not specify the cause of her death.

“While our hearts are broken by the idea of life without Oscar, he is still very much with us. Oscar’s hard work, his intelligence and his love of life are at the heart of our company,” the statement said.

Born in the Dominican Republic, de la Renta began his career working for Cristóbal Balenciaga, a Spanish couturier. He broke off on his own in 1967, launching his eponymous line in a shop on New York’s 7th Avenue where the company is still headquartered. Over the next 49 years, he dressed first ladies, including the last four  and presided over a social life that included pop stars and political heavyweights. He was known as a perfectionist, and he was working almost to the end, having most recently designed the wedding dress of Amal Alamuddin, George Clooney’s new wife.

The Clinton family praised de la Renta’s “singular talent and exquisite taste,” saying that they will always be grateful for the love the designer showed their family.

“His warmth and friendship will be missed by our family and all whose lives he touched in his extraordinary journey,” they said in a statement. “Oscar’s remarkable eye was matched only by his generous heart.”

Former First Lady Laura Bush said she and her husband were “deeply saddened” by the loss of their “dear friend.”

“We will miss Oscar’s generous and warm personality, his charm and his wonderful talents,” she said in a statement. “We will always remember him as the man who made women look and feel beautiful.”

De la Renta is survived by his second wife, the socialite Annette Engelhard de la Renta. His first wife, Françoise de Langlade, died in 1983 of cancer. He had no children. But just last week, it was announced that he had selected a successor-the designer, Peter Copping, who was going to work with him

HAVE you ever used coconut oil in your beauty routine? Never mind that it’s found in the kitchen, coconut oil has become the moment’s most obsessed about natural beauty staple and it  has amazing beauty benefits. Below are ways to incorporate it into your beauty routine.

Ways you didn’t know you could use coconut oil

*Make-up remover: Coconut oil will gently remove your make-up. Just make sure to rinse it off after. Place some on a cotton pad and rub gently in circles around your eye area to get rid of make-up.

* Hair softener: Use coconut oil as a DIY hair mask to soften your hair and add moisture.  Just scoop it out and apply to your hair, focusing on the ends.  You can leave it in for 30 minutes or even sleep with it in, rinse it out in the shower and shampoo and condition as usual.

*Shaving cream: Give yourself a smooth shave by using coconut oil in place of your normal shaving cream.  This is a great idea for those of you who have sensitive skin and may be sensitive to all the chemicals in normal shaving creams.

* Frizz-tamer: Use a tiny amount of coconut oil to smooth down flyaways and add shine to your locks.

* Moisturizer: The fatty acid in coconut oil helps lock moisture into the skin, so smooth some over your elbows and other rough spots to soften and heal.

* Cuticle oil: If your nail beds have been looking a bit dry and ragged, just dab some coconut oil on them.  Do this before bed and put on gloves. You will wake up to soft, smooth nails.

*Body scrub: Make your own body scrub by combining coconut oil with brown sugar.  Coconut oil also has anti-fungal properties, so it makes a great foot scrub too.

*Face scrub: Add some baking soda to your coconut oil for a gentle face exfoliator.  You might feel a bit of residue after rinsing, but the oil will absorb into your skin after a few minutes.

*Eye cream: Coconut oil is great for hydrating the gentle skin around your eyes . It will leave your eye area baby soft and decrease signs of wrinkles.

FOLLOWING the successful curtailment of the spread of Ebola Virus Disease (EVD) in Nigeria, the Association of Nigeria Tour Operators (NATOP) has commended the Federal Government and Lagos State government alongside other governors for the prompt and effective manner they worked together to prevent the spread of the deadly disease in the country even as its warmed that Americans and other European currently battling to hand the disease to treat Nigerians with dignity and respect for human rights.

In a press release signed by the president of the umbrella body for travel operators in the country, Mr. Nkwereuwem Onung, the body commended the prompt attention giving to tackling the matter and information machinery deployed by the government to enlighten and educate Nigeria on the matter.

The body said for the first time in a long while Nigerians witnessed a demonstration of something and positive about the Nigerian government, describing the manner the disease was handled as ”efficiency in governance,” and the fact that once determined the Nigerian government can actually go the full hug to deliver good governance to the people.

According to Onung, the partnership by the Lagos State government and the federal government is a pointer to the fact that if all Nigerians and government at all levels lay aside their differences and politics that efficiency and the promotion of public good and interest can be achieved in a question of time.

He, therefore, called on all Nigerians to joins hands in building a virile and united nation where brotherliness and common good of the people thrive, adding that this is the only way that the country can overcome it many challenges and build a sound economic base for the people. Onung who is also the chairman of Remlord Tours and Transports Services, stressed that even though it members suffered great losses from it following the cancellations of business deals earlier nick but that it was happy that the government effectively curtailed the spread and that today Nigeria is free and it members and others can now hope to get their businesses back on track again.

With American and other Western and Europe countries that battling to stave off the spread of the disease in their soil, the tour operating body called for caution in the manner that they treat Nigerians travelling in and out of their countries.

He said that Nigerians deserved to be accord their full human rights and not seen as the carriers of EVD as the epidemic is a global once and not confined to West Africa countries alone as many people believe. The body then called for a global approach to be adopted by the western world, the World Health Organisation (WHO) and the United Nations (UN) in the handling of the matter otherwise it would assume an alarming proportion.

Men, by the design of nature, do not get pregnant. Ironically, checks showed that they also have their own way of going through labour pains. While many men would prefer to stay miles away from the labour room; a few have dared the odds to stand by their wives and share in the pains of child delivery. In this report, SEGUN AJIBOYE and INNOCENT DURU examine the ordeal of men in the course of waiting for news while their wives sweat it out in the labour room.

Jude was caught sweating profusely in front of a maternity ward at a public hospital recently. He was neither jogging nor doing any physical exercise, yet he was drenched in his own sweat. He looked tensed and his eyes looking very red. He was speechless and appeared sick. But Jude was not ill. He had only become afflicted by the fear of the unknown because his wife was in labour for almost a whole day.  The only time he managed to speak was when another young man gladly walked out of the hospital with his wife and new born baby.

“Congratulations,” he said, stammering. The man joyfully responded:  “Thank you. Just take it easy, your wife would soon deliver too and your worries would be over. I was in a worse mood than you are before my wife put to bed. Be of good cheers brother.” Smiling, he vivaciously led his wife into his car and they drove off.

On the far left hand side of Jude stood another expectant father and his pastor. They were praying laboriously as if that was the last time they would pray. They were in the same shoes with Jude. They were going through what Patrick Doyle, a veteran actor, described as the mental anguish of men around the labour ward.  This simply attests to the fact that men are not exempted from labour pains.

Femi Obimakinde shared his experience thus: “I would never pray to be around a maternity ward again in my life because the anxiety is overwhelming. When my wife was in labour, I took her to the hospital late in the night and because it was late, I couldn’t go back home. From that very moment we got there, a woman was already in the labour room getting ready to give birth. She was screaming and screaming from that night till the following morning without the baby coming out. All through the night, I was perplexed by her groaning that was laced with emotional remarks.

“Before the day broke, another pregnant woman who was also trying to give birth died in the process. When I heard this, goose pimples enveloped my body. I kept pacing up and down as if I lost something and was busy searching for it.  I kept praying in a manner that I had never done before and almost telling God that I would not attempt to impregnate my wife again, if He could just make my wife to have safe delivery.

“My mind was not helpful at that very point in time as different fearful thoughts kept springing up in me. I even tried to sleep so that the anxiety could disappear, but sleep would not come. I developed headache and lost appetite even when the day finally broke. Fortunately for me, she put to bed around 9:30 am and immediately she did, all the anxiety disappeared. When I told my wife what I passed through, she didn’t really appreciate it. She believed that her pains were more hurtful than what I passed through.”

Biodun Ogun, a legal practitioner, said it is always traumatic to be around the labour ward when one’s wife is in labour. “It is even more depressing if she has some health challenges before going into labour. My wife was having high blood pressure when she was pregnant and was placed on some medication. On the day she was in labour, I took her to the hospital and the moment they checked her blood pressure, they found that it extremely high and there were fears that she might not be able to give birth  by herself.

“I met another man whose wife was also having the same challenge and was on the verge of putting to bed. Because our wives were in the same condition, we became friends and encouraged each other. While the medical personnel were busy putting things in order to attend to my wife, I rushed to the canteen to eat. In the course of eating, I saw the other guy, walking past the canteen with heavy and tearful eyes. I sought to know what was the matter and he said the wife died.

“The moment he said that, I literally passed away.  My heart started beating unusually even as I tried to console my friend. I quickly abandoned my food and ran to check my wife.

As I was rushing down, I saw a nurse wheeling down a dead patient. My head suddenly swelled out of fear because my mind stupidly said it was my wife that they were wheeling away.

It wasn’t a tea party at all even after she put to bed. The sight of another woman who had developed partial stroke after giving birth haunted me. I feared that because my wife had high blood pressure before she put to bed  she could also develop partial stroke.

I wasn’t a sweet experience and it is only he who had such experience that can tell what it takes to go through it,” Ogun said.

Patrick Doyle, standing next to his wife in a labour room, has increased his appreciation of the pains that women go through during childbirth.  He said: “I have been told and I have seen women in labour and I cannot underplay the amount of physical pain that they go through. I heard them scream and I know that it was real physical pain. It will not deride the pain that women go through during childbirth.   I have been physically present in the labour room during the birth of some of my children. The anguish that I went through was more mental than physical.

“While I cannot diminish the physical pain of a woman, I cannot begin to tell you the degree of mental anguish I go through watching my wife in labour; the kind of fear I nurse because I have heard that women die during childbirth. I would always say to myself would this child come out right. I hope she comes out alive; I hope the child comes out perfect without any deformity. There would be fears going through your mind, especially when you are in the labour room. It is a different kind of pain. It is mental anguish that I cannot describe and I don’t think any woman can really understand it, just as men cannot really understand the physical pain that they go through. Therefore, I call it a draw.

“When you are inside the labour room with a woman, while you may want to pray, you don’t want her to see you praying because she might think that you have seen a problem when there is probably no problem. You must contain all those fears and emotions, while at the same time holding her hand  making efforts to be reassuring her that it is alright. While you are saying it is alright, your head is saying  the baby should not die ; baby should not die .  But on the outside, you keep a smiling face and rubbing her hand and keep saying sorry , sorry , it will be fine. So you have to be a consummate actor at that point in time. It is never a time to do any funny thing.”

The story is the same for popular comedian, Gbenga Adeyinka, who witnessed the birth of his first child. According to him, “I made up my mind to be there for my wife when the time came for her to have our first child.”

But if he thought the experience was going to be a pleasant one, he soon realized how wrong he was. “I realized that it was not palatable at all. At the same time, I saw first-hand that it was very messy. My mind went back to the movies that I had watched and I came to the realization that this was real and can never be compared to those movie scenes,”Adeyinka said.

Adeyinka took something away from the experience. After that, he confessed that he began to respect the womenfolk much more than ever before. “I must confess to you that after that experience, I began to respect every woman. The truth is that prior to that experience, I respected women, especially my wife. But witnessing the delivery of a baby increased my respect for all women. My brother, I will recommend the experience for all men who don’t seem to appreciate their wives.”

Speaking from his experience, Samson Oji, an accountant, said it is actually not only women that go through labour pain.  A lot of men, he said, also go through it. “The moment some women become pregnant, their husbands too become pregnant. The manner your wife delivers and the condition around where she delivers also will determine what your state of mind will be,” he said.

He added: “My first experience was very nasty. A friend whose wife was pregnant put to bed and few hours after, the baby died.A few days after that, my wife fell into labour. As we were going to the hospital, the only thought that was coming to my mind was the unfortunate case of my friend.

“When we arrived at the hospital, she was admitted. She was in labour for a whole day. I had to go home at night, but I couldn’t sleep all through the night. When the day broke, I rushed to the hospital without even having my bath. When I got to the hospital, I dashed to the room where she was the previous day, but she wasn’t there.  My eyeballs stood still and my whole body became numb instantly.

“I tried calling the nurses, but none was at hand at the reception to attend to me. After some time, one of them came and told me that they moved her to another room. It was at that point that I regained consciousness. She put to bed the third day. It was a serious experience . I started laughing at myself afterwards, but initially, it wasn’t funny.  I had imagined the worst and allowed the fears to cripple my whole being.”

Koffi Idowu, one of the leading comedians in the country, said his experience as a father has been quite funny.  He had wished to watch his wife give birth, but his wish was not allowed by the medical personnel when the wife was in serious labour pain.

“My first experience in a maternity ward was when my first child was born in 2009. I had woken up to take my wife to the hospital as early as a 6:30 am, but our baby didn’t arrive until about 2: 15 in the afternoon. From that experience, I have learnt never to trust nurses and doctors when they say go and get olive oil.

“When I got to the hospital, we didn’t go with all the necessary items. So at the time the baby was coming out, I had planned to witness it all, but when I was seeing the pain that my wife was going through, I could barely hold it. But when my baby would come out, they asked  me to go and get olive oil. I went downstairs to buy olive oil and before I could come back, the baby had been born. I didn’t like it and vowed that I must witness the next one. In fact, if I catch those nurses now, they will hate themselves. They sent me on an errand that was not necessary.

“When the second child was coming,  I was at work, but because of the experience I had before, I  begged the organisers of the event that I was handling that my wife was in labour and that  I must be there with her. I must hold her hand. My wife actually held on till I got to the hospital and was wheeled to the theatre. Immediately, the boy came out. This time, it was less troublesome and burdensome. I don’t know where women get the strength. I don’t think anybody can start to stitch me up like that,”he said.

Idowu further said: “But I must commend women. Any man who at any point in time has not celebrated women or any man who raised his hand to beat a woman has never been to a maternity ward. After that experience, I started respecting my wife more than I did before .  I started understanding what she goes through even beyond for nine months. I respect my wife and love her more now that I know the pains she went through in the labour room.

“I am quite the calm type because my wife is very strong. She calms me. It is her mood that I follow.  We both understand each other. Even in serious situations, we always find a way to just go about our normal business. I was not so panicky and that further helped her to withstand the pressure of childbearing.”

Tony Okoh said his anxiety was borne out of the pictures of all manners of deformed children he had always seen in magazines.

He said: “I have learnt to avoid looking at the pictures of deformed children placed in some magazines after it caused me a lot of heartache when my wife was in labour.  If you are conversant with some of these magazines, you will see children born without private parts, some without limbs and some with their bodies having the features of animals.

“I always enjoyed reading all these without knowing that I was consuming what would haunt me later. It was when my wife was in labour that the pictures started manifesting in my consciousness. I started fearing  that my wife could give birth to any of such things I had read in the magazines. At a point, my mind would flash a picture of my wife carrying a baby without legs in her hand. The thought was making me perplexed, but I used the power of faith to confront it.

“The moment such thought comes to my mind, I would quickly rebuke it. When I could not control it any longer, I quickly called my pastor who came and joined me in praying for my wife and against all the evil thoughts running through my mind. It was nightmarish, but I thank God that my fears did not  materialize. I have learnt to do away with such publications and pictures after that nasty experience.”

Lagos Yacht Club recently held the fourth edition of its annual boat completion, Southern Sun Ikoyi Hotel Off shore Challenge. The annual event sponsored by the Southern Sun Ikoyi Hotel is an opportunity for members of the club to engage in boat competition and celebrate the aquatic endowment of Lagos.

The general manager of the Southern Sun Ikoyi said the hosting of the event is part of the efforts to give back to the society and also use the platform as an opportunity to network and wrap up business. He said: “In all, 24 boats participated in the challenge. At the end of the event prizes were awarded for winners while others enjoy an idyllic evening out on the bank of the Lagos lagoon. Eight actually finished the course and I think they should be congratulated for doing that. Among the hobbies in the third place with boat number 1228, Blow Jeep,”

In this year’s edition, the sailors had it a little rough as the hitherto favourable wind changed, making it difficult for the sailors, despite that; they still had a wonderful day. After the boats returned back to the club, prizes were awarded to the winners.

The Southern Sun General manager, Mr. Mark Snoxley spoke on his company’s sponsorship of the competition: “The company is very sports orientate. It is for business purposes mostly for PR and marketing. We basically do this for business networking.

It has been very successful and people enjoy the event. It gives the hotel the opportunity to showcase its hospitality. The chef comes in to lovely snacks and small chops.

The club’s commodore, Mr. Michael Barnes described the event as highly successful. He commended the hotel for the sponsorship. The South African Deputy High commissioner, Thandi Mgxwati also applauded the hotel for the sponsorship. She said:

“As the South African embassy, we support all our South African businesses. It actually shows that they are not only here for business but to strike a relationship with the people. And we will always support that.  Today’s event was a success although it has its own challenges because of the weather. We know that at some point, the people that sailed off just didn’t have an enough wind to return. I think it was exciting event to watch as it also exposes us to that other challenges the seamen actually comes across when they are offshore . It was a success because everybody came back safe and we are happy to see that everybody is happy.”

ALMOST 1,000 hairstylists and leading hair product merchants converged on the prestigious Banquet Event Centre, Lateef Jakande Road, Ikeja, Lagos, on Tuesday, 14th October, 2014, to usher into Nigeria’s hair beauty market a range of hair products- Bliss Hair.

According to the Trade Fair Complex Branch Manager, Bliss Hair, Mrs. Clara Ofoegbu, who introduced the product, the Bliss Hair brand is a range of human hair weaving, virgin hair and lace closure already popular in the global hair market, especially in China, France, South Africa, Ivory Coast, Ghana, Togo and Benin Republic.

In his own speech, the Managing Director, Bliss Hair, Mr. Stone Jiang, said, “We are famous for our Gold Virgin Hair, Gold Remy Hair, and our Brazilian Neon, which is the most affordable human hair weave-on in the history of Brazilian hair reign with the finest texture and long lasting quality.

Funke Gina, a 300-level student of UNILAG, who is also a hairstylist, won two cash prizes for being an outstanding customer. She won a prize for wearing Bliss hair product to the event, as well as being one of the winners of the hair beauty contest – customer category.

Mercy Macaulay, a beauty model and career dancer, won the cash prize in the dancing competition, alongside three other hairstylists.

FLORAL dresses are colourful and will never disappear from the spotlight. It makes every woman look gorgeous. And most importantly, a celebrated femininity is a plus. Floral dress also adds personality to your look. It is appropriate for the workplace and casual occasions. One thing to always bear in mind when wearing a floral dress is to choose the right accessories.

Learn how to rock the hottest fashion trend!

When wearing a floral dress, never overdo it.

Stick to only one floral pattern and keep the rest of the outfit simple.

Don’t let the floral dress compete with other busy patterns.

Floral bottoms are very fashionable

Smaller jewelry is better than the chunky ones when rocking a floral dress.

Flat sandals and heels go well with floral dress.